He's Not the Man I Thought He Was

He's Not The Man I Thought He Was

 This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship, Part 2. It's about the main character coming to the realization that her ex-boyfriend's charm at the beginning of the relationship was all an act (but she still feels like she sorta kinda wants to be with him, anyway).

The lyrics are:

(He's a dumb fuck)

Mister Charm is a stupid-head
He's not the man I thought he was

Mister Charm, who disarmed me's a phony
\I'm alarmed; he caused harm; he's full of baloney

He's not the man I thought he was

What the fuck? What's the deal? Am I stupid?
I say, "shucks," he's not real; he's a poop head

He's not the man I thought he was

I thought he was gonna steal my soul
He was really mean and darn controlling
Why does he have a hold on me?

Time has past - I know it is a fact
Everything he did was just an act
Why does he have a hold on me?

He's not the man I thought he was
He's not the man I thought he was

I should know that it was an act
He's not Mister Charm - he is wacky
In the head - am I brainwashed?
I want to be with him - oh, gosh.

Mister Charm is a stupid-head
He's not the man I thought he was
He's not the man I thought he was

He Seemed Waxy

He Seemed Waxy

 This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. It's about the ex  boyfriend and how he seemed waxy. It's a true story.

The lyrics are:

He seemed waxy, and I'm not crying

He seemed waxy, and I'm not dying
He seemed waxy, and he looked like a corpse in winter
And his skin was grey

What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

He seems waxy, and he is stupid
I don't like him and he's a poophead
He seems waxy, and he's a nightmare
He seems waxy, and he has light hair

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do

I wish I could have an objective opinion about this stupid man
He is crazy, and I think, maybe he fucked me up, he's a poophead - damn!
He's a dumb fuck, and it was bad luck that he liked me that I fell for him
I should say, "yuck," and if I got stuck him him, I would be in a Hell, so grim

What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? 

Slay Me

 

Slay Me

 This is a song about the end of the universe. I kinda hope it doesn't happen, but I think there might be scientists and stuff that think it might happen. that kind of sucks. that kind of blows.

I Don't Give a Fuck About You Anymore, Dude

I Don't Give a Fuck About You Anymore Dude

I Don't Give a Fuck About You Anymore - Mix 2

 This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. It's a song of ambivalence. Ambivalence, I tell you!

The lyrics are:

I don't give a fuck about you anymore, dude
Why is there a hope in my heart?

But I keep feeling so incomplete
Why is there a hope in my heart?
I have a loop in my mind on infinite repeat
Sayin' there's a hope in my heart

I don't give a fuck about you anymore, dude
Why is there a hope in my heart?

The what-ifs make my mind start to fall apart
Sayin' there's a hope in my heart
But you're a man who makes me feel like I'm a fart
Why is there a hope in my heart?

My friends and family said I'm well rid of him
Married life would have been ever so grim
Why is there a shadow of a doubt
About our break up - what's that all about?
He was an evil, awful, stupid, mean prick
Why do I feel like giving my heart to a dick?
Some part of me thinks he is my soul-mate
Other parts of me think he's not so great

I don't give a fuck about you anymore, dude
Why is there a hole in my heart?

I'm Praying to the Spirits Tonight/Will the Flowers Bloom?

I'm Praying to the Spirits Tonight

 This is another one of those depresso songs. It's about prayin' to the spirits in the hopes things get better and the flowers come out again.

The lyrics are:

Will the flowers bloom on the far side of the moon?
I'm praying to the spirits tonight; I'm praying to the spirits tonight
My mind's an empty room that's darker than a tomb
I'm singing to the spirits tonight; I'm singing to the spirits tonight

This is the Depression Sessions, and I am feeling bad
Feeling less than the best is something that's not rad
Being empty and bummed out and lost in the cold
Is something your parents had probably never told
You about when you were a little kid
It was not something to expect, but then you did
Fall into a major depressive episode
And you pray to the spirits to unburden your load

Will the flowers bloom inside this empty tomb?
I'm praying to the spirits tonight; I'm praying to the spirits tonight
Or is this place of gloom the seeds' eternal womb?
I'm praying to the spirits tonight; I'm praying to the spirits tonight

Will the flowers come out and say, "hello?"
In the bright Heaven of the sun's eternal glow?
Will the spirits come down and grant me some good grace?
In the form of flowers that sing with smiling faces?
I know that you may be getting tired
Of music about getting stuck in the mire
Of depression but here is what I have to say
It's stupid to do happy songs when you feel grey

I'm praying to the spirits tonight; I'm praying to the spirits tonight

Worst Summer

 

Worst summer

 This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album (Part 2). It's a jumbled morass of awfulness and confusion, which is the outcome of my attempt to create a song that sounds like a major depressive episode.

The Thunderstorm

The Thunderstorm - Mix 2

A few nights ago, there was a big thunderstorm and it lasted hours and hours. I kid you not, each thunder clap lasted about a minute. It was nutty. So, I decided to record some o' those thunderclaps with my iPad. You can't really hear 'em, though. But, in the meantime, I decided to come up with some music and record that. It came out all lame and stupid. In my stoned state o' mind, I decided to make up a song about how lame and stupid the previous song was. The result is this song.

The thunder rumblings in this are a white noise machine that I recorded through effects that make it an octave lower. I'd've used the real thunder, but like I said, it didn't really register in the iPad recordings.

God Is Getting Drunk Tonight

God Is Getting Drunk Tonight

This is a song about God lookin' down on Earth and seein' what bad shape it's in. And, feeling sad about humanity's impending doom, God decides to get drunk.

It Is the Summer of the Worstest Breakup Songs

Summer of the Worstest Breakup Songs'

This is the next song in the fucked up relationship album (well, it's the fucked up relationship album, Part 2 - Part 1 is already on Spotify and stuff (under the name, Rebecca Pittenger)). I was trying to make a song that sounds like a major depressive episode. The criteria for a major depressed episode are depressed mood, lack of interest, guilt, low energy, poor concentration, changes in appetite, psychomotor retardation or agitation, and suicidal ideation. You only need 5 of those to qualify as having a major depressive episode. Anyway, that's what I had, the summer of 1999, right after I broke up with the boyfriend from Hell. This is a 3 layer song - I got samples from last week's song, the song a few wees before, and some new stuff, all jumbled together, in an attempt to create the most depressingest song ever.

The lyrics are:

It is the summer of the worstest breakup songs

It's such a bummer no one else will sing along

(and there's a bunch of sampled stuff)