New Year's Eve 2020 Song

 

NEWYEARS eve 2020

 Or, whoops, do you call it 2020 or 2021 when it's the eve of the New Year being 2021? But I always spend New Year's Eve payin' homage to the old year. This song continues the "I dunno just how to live" theme that came up recently. See, similar to what I did on last year's New Year's Eve, I wanted to record a song that echoed my favoritest song of that year. Actually, I have a lot of favoritest songs from this year, now that I think of it. But it's the recentest favoritest song.

It's part of that old rock opera about possession I'm a-workin' on. It revisits the theme song of the me-character that came up in the beginning of the album, the one where it was all happy with banjo and bluegrassy sensibilities. But this is the sad version of it, cuz all this crappy stuff has happened to the me-character between when she first song - the happy "Nobody Else Made a Circle for Me" song - and now. Tomorrow, you'll get to hear the sad version of the Timmy and Bobby "We Like Willie Nelson" song, to celebrate the New Year, again, echoing the sadness of saddest sad theme to show how sad they got.

This was a weird year; it was really mixed for me. There were horrors and there were wonderful things too. It's really odd. And what I'm speaking to is completely separate from covid, so that tells you just what an intense year I've had.

Downstairs, my dumb noisy neighbor is having a covid party. I can't believe people are having stupid new years parties when the hospitals are so packed with covid patients that they're not letting people in who have appendicitis and things like that.

This song is also a post-diction of last night's song about wanting to write a song about friends. I had no idea I was gonna write a song about friends tonight. This song has friends in it.

The lyrics are:

Nobody else made a circle for me – a circle a circle circle circle
Nobody else made a circle for me
Nobody else made a circle for me

Another year's gone by, and I think that I'll cry
I don't know just how to live
It feels like time will end, I think I need my friends
I don't know just how to live

Nobody else made a circle for me
Nobody else made a circle for me

Another year's gone by, I look into the sky
I don't know just how to live
I don't know what awaits, Just what will be my fate?
I don't know just how to live

No one else made a circle for me, that is true
I can tell that the world will not see this thing through
But my friends, they made a circle for me
It won't end cuz it's a circularity
Now I need them quite a lot cuz they are who I trust
They are all the friends I got; our love is robust
Timmy and Bobby and Father O'Malley are
Gonna be lobbying with a country guitar

Nobody else made a circle for me, a circle, a circle circle circle

They called the preacher man, and now he is on hand
I don't know just how to live
They're feeling helpless and I'm drowning in the sand
I don't know just how to live

Here's the alternative player thingy in case the one, upstairs, doesn't work when you try to play it on your portable electronic device:

Backwards It's Too Late/ Oh My God

BTOOLATE
Here's the backwards version of "It's Too Late/Oh My God," which is the last song I wrote in 2019. I published it on 12/31/2019, in case you want to take a look at the forwards version of it.

I decided to post the backwards song a year after I posted the forwards song. My God, I was in Hell a year ago. Now I’m in purgatory. I’m hopin’ the health stuff that sent me to the fiery depths of unbelievable-awfulness-I-wouldn’t-wish-on-anyone will finally get resolved in 2021. Here’s hoping.

Weird its too late
Here's the weird version of "It's Too Late," or, in other words, the song above, if you turn it around backwards.

Song About Friends Song

 

SONGFRND

 This is a song about wanting to write a song about friends. I dunno if this poopy song is a rough demo of a future song, or if it's its own thing. I'm experimenting with close-together harmonies. This one has close together harmonies.

The lyrics are:

I'm gonna write a new song

I'm gonna write a new song about friends

Here's the alternative player thingy, in case the other one doesn't work:

What if Heaven is Nothing But Just a Bathroom

HEVENL0O
This song's from the point of view of someone in purgatory, which I conceptualize as a way-station between Earth and Heaven. It's like, purgatory is where people wait to go to Heaven. The narrator of the song is there, and is wondering if Heaven is nothing but just a bathroom. When you think about it, having to pee really bad makes bathrooms seem like Heaven. That sense of relief you get is heavenly, in other words, when you get to the bathroom and do your business. If Heaven is a bathroom, it might be nice, but some people might be disappointed cuz they might be expecting something more grand.

Weird what if heaven is just a bathroom
Here's last week's song, if you play it backwards.

The lyrics are:

Bread in the station, in a sky of blue, in a sky of blue

Yes, I am waiting, for the time to do, (the) trip up to the loo

What if old Heaven is nothing but  just a bathroom? (2x)

Fuck, I am waiting, for the time to go (but) when, I do not know

Stuck in the station, reaping what I sow, man I’m feeling low

What if old Heaven is nothing but  just a bathroom? (2x)

What if I’m sinking fast? What if I’m sinking low?

Stuck in a shrinking past, fuck is it time to go?

Fuck I am feeling low, waiting in Heaven’s glow

Luck is a fleeting show, (I’m) Praying it’s time to go

What if Heaven is just a bathroom, to the side of a dingy classroom?

Bread unleavened it’s past noon, fast soon; I will go to the bathroom damn soon

What if heaven is just a place where, we poop and pee and we don’t stare

At our colleagues who are relieving, the thing that is poop and peeing?

What if Heaven is stuck in the bathroom?

The Fire God's Death Song

 

FIREDETH

 In this song, the next song in the album/rock-opera-thingy about possession, the fire god is pining for home. He's homesick for the sun. He hears his friends and relatives in the sun talking about stuff, and he decides to sing his death song because he expects singing it will bring him home. This might be a wee bit confusing cuz the death song part is the same as the me-character's death song!!!! Stay tuned...you'll have a better idear about what's going on later. (I haven't written the song that'll provide clarification yet, but it'll appear soon enough).

This song features Lulu the cat!!!!! This is a picture of Lulu! Her meows were originally in F# Major, so I had to change the pitch a little bit to make it F minor (or A flat major, depending on how you look at it).

Here's Lulu's sister, Luci!!! She meows, too, but I haven't gotten her on tape yet.

The lyrics are:

We are children of the holy land
Citizens of fire that gave us man
Denizens inside the turning sun
It is hot enough to burn your buns

Are those my relatives? Everything I would give
To go and be with them, and see my friends again
I wish I had not flown the coop cuz I'm alone
Oh poop, was I stoned? I want to go back home

I hear voices of my fire-god friends
singing in the sun that may just mend
Burning spirits like me, who have sinned
I want back again, please let me in!

The death song I want to sing is the thing
To bring me back to the sun's golden rings
Yes, I'll sing that death song melody now
It will bring me home if I sing it loud!!!!

Home,
I want to go back home
I want to go back home
I want to go back home

I have ears that won't stop ringing
My mind is broken, but I can't stop singing
I'm blind and stupid, but I'm learning
The world is turning but it won't stop burning

I want to go back home

I want to go home

I want to go back home

Here's an alternative player thingy, in case you have trouble playing the one up at the top:

I Don't Know Just How To Live

 

DONTKN02

 This is the same song as the one I published on December 4th, but a different version of it. I wanted to do a version that sounded like the dream I got the song from, so this one is about a sad man, who is a priest, or a preacher. He's sad. Sad, sad man.

The lyrics are:

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know just how to live

I am a preacher-man, but I think that I'm damned
I do not know just how to live
I am a father of a flock that sings to love
I do not know just how to live

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know just how to live

Here's the alternative player-thingy in case the one up top doesn't work with your portable electronic device:

Why is She Talking About Bears, Now?

 

WHYISSHE

 In this song, the other characters are confused cuz the girl starts randomly talking about bears. 

WHYSHE22

Here's another mix that doesn't have the extendy part at the end. It's probably a crappy mix, but I'd been thinking this song might potentially sound better shorter and sweeter. 

WHYSHE33

Okay, this one here is probably the bestest mix cuz the one at the top has the rapping part at the end being too loud and overpowering the mix. The short and sweet one ends too abruptly. This one might be okay. Yeah, try this one.

The lyrics are:

What is she talking 'bout? What is this thing?
The holy water made her start to sing
We thought the holy water had not worked
Now we are totally not sure; now there's a quirk

Why is she talkin' bout bears now?

She said that Jesus tells her to sing to bears
So now we see just how much He seems to care
We don't know why it's bears in particular
The water got on her hair and it made a stir

Why is she talkin' bout bears now?

buh dark uh darng, guh dark uh buh-duh dark uh darng

This was real unexpected and we don't know
I think we'll take a second to think just so
We'll have better reflections on how to go
In the next good direction, yes, we said, “whoah”
She's talkin' bout a big bear and we are confused
She's got water in her hair and she said she'd use
Whatever knowledge this animal has in store
We hope that it doesn't start a new holy war

Here's the alternative player-thingy just in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Here's the better mix:

Here's the crappy mix:

2000 Year Lullaby

 

2000YEAR

 This song's a re-working of  a song I did back in 1997. I always liked the hook of it, and all, y'know, so I decided to re-work it, usin' the same hook, but other stuff around it. Maybe if I get the wherewithall, I'll attempt to post the original one, so you can see what the 2 of them sound like. Yeah, I might do that. It's a song about how we get lost in all the stress of buying gifts for people who have so much stuff they don't need any gifts, and lose sight of what Christmas was originally about. 

I've got a picture of Jesus drinking beer, there. He's one of the characters in my graphic novels, and that's what he looks like in them. Y'know, he's contemporary guy, living in contemporary times, and he drinks beer.

The lyrics are:

What is the point of this old holiday?
where you have to buy presents for people that don't need anything?
It feels real stupid but, then I remember
There's a song that haunts me and wants me to sing

Two thousand year lullaby, playing to the moonlit desert sky
Three very tall men sporting aftershave .. come to
See a baby who has souls to save

Two thousand year lullaby, playing to the moonlit desert sky
The night was born into a better day
With light that formed a beacon on the way

I want to remember who this day is about
it is for December's Jewish baby with clout
Well, I mean, Jesus was not quite born on this day
But I don't see just why not light a tree, anyway

And now I remember why

Two thousand year lullaby

Here's the alternative player thingy, as usual, in case the one, up top, doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Download 12 2000 year lullaby

 Okay, I dug up the original version of this song that I did back in 1997...I was messing around with my brother's trumpet. And that's a real banjo there. I wanted to sound like Talking Heads way back then.

Whiskey in My Eggnog

 

EGGOG001

 This is a Christmas song...I was in the mood to do a Christmas song, which is odd, because I don't feel particularly Christmas-y yet. Maybe I will in a day or 2. In any event, this is a song about a person who wants to put brandy in her eggnog, but upon realizing she forgot to pick up any brandy at Von's (a southern California supermarket, in case you're not familiar with it) decides to put whiskey in it. 

I borrowed my kitties' toys to make the jingle bell sound. Kitty toys make good jingly bell sounds. One of my cats tried to attack me because I was shaking her toys in the microphone. She was all, "This is my toy!!!! MY TOY!!!!!!!!"

I was trying to go for a bluegrassy sound because country music lends itself favorably to Christmas songs (well, in my book, they do)...but it might sound more like German Oom-Pah-Pah music than anything else.

Post-script: whoops I shoulda said “whiskey’s in the game” and not “on the game.” Must’ve been covid-lockdown-brain making me loopy-poopy. If I ever re-record this little ditty, I’ll make that correction.

The lyrics are:

I got whiskey in my eggnog

I got whiskey in my eggnog

I forgot to get the brandy at the Von's

I got whiskey in my eggnog

It tastes shitty, but it does the job
I got whiskey in my eggnog

I feel no pain, cuz whiskey's on the game

I got whiskey in my eggnog

I wish I had...some brandy, but
I'll make due with some whiskey cuz it's handy, but
Next Christmas, I'll...get pissed and I'll
Make sure that brandy's on my Christmas list to buy

I want a Christmas tree; I want a Christmas tree

I got whiskey in my eggnog; I got whiskey in my eggnog

Here's the usual alternative player thingy, in case the one up top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Death Song to Make Bears Come

 In this song, the me-character realizes that, even though Father O'Malley threw holy water on her, the fire god is still inside her. Then she gets inspiration to call on bears, who are her friends and protectors in the spirit world. If nothing else, they can continue to remind her who she really is, so she doesn't lose her identity because she's scared that old fire god might take over.

I revisit a theme I've used in other songs cuz it's a song I think of as being my death song, a song you sing when you're about to die to let the spirit world know you're a-comin'. Since the me-character feels a kinship with bears, she's predicting that singing that old death song will call bear spirits to her cuz she feels a kinship with them. Bear spirits will recognize her when they hear the song and come to her assistance. 

A death-song is actually a concept I'm borrowin' from various Native cultures on this here continent. I hope I'm not mangling the concept or being a culturally appropriating dick by making use o' this here concept. It's something I think about a lot, though. It seems like the best way to die would be singing a death song (or maybe laughing). 

DEATHSNG

The lyrics are:

That fire god's still inside me
And I might lose my identity
The fire god is an entity
Stuck in side me, but Jesus sent me

Something that will remind me
My spirit's still inside me
That death song melody
Will help me start to see

I have ears that won't stop ringing
My mind is broken, but I can't stop singing
I'm blind and stupid, but I'm learning
The world is turning, but it won't stop burning

I have some allies that
I did not know were there
They look like dogs and cats
I'll call the singing bears!

My mind is stupid and singing
I don't know why my ears have not stopped ringing
Maybe I'm stupid, but I'm learning
The world is turning, but it won't stop burning

It's the death song that will call the bears to me because
They will know who I am and they care cuz I'm their cous-
in with musical inspiration that makes them come
It's a death song, and it's a rule of thumb
It's a musical calling card that will make them come
They won't lose me; even from far, they will come run
They're the bears, they're the bears, and I know that they do care
I'm aware that they care, and they'll come down Heaven's stair

Here's the alternative player-thingy just in case the one up there at the top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Here's the bears song from a few weeks ago: this is the one that'll be next in the album after this week's song. But since I already posted it, I'm not gonna make a whole new post.

Not Working

 

NOTWRKNG

This is the next song in the album about possession: Father O'Malley performs the exorcism ritual, which involves throwing holy water on the possessed person. It didn't work.

The lyrics are:
No nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no
Nosiree nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no

Why's this not working? The spirit's still lurking
Holy water is best
But it evaporates like a sample
Cake that has been digested 

No nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no
Nosiree nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no

It's holy water, and we are not sure
Why this is falling flat
Maybe the spirit thinks there is beer in it
And it makes him get fat

Wait, what is this thing that seems to be wrong here?
I think I need a drink: I need some strong beer
I'm good at exorcism; it's my mission
It is the best decision, and it sinks in
This thing is fiery, and it is wily, it is much stronger
It sings a high C, cuz it is mighty, it's been here longer
Than other spirits that I have steered in a good direction up to Heaven
Now, it is clear that, and I have fear that, I must confess this is a messy one

I am a priest-man - will I release and...
Let this spirit go free?
And save the girl from this thing? I feel dumb
I have fear; but, we'll see

No nee no no 
No nee nee no nee no no 
Nosiree nee no no 
No nee nee no nee no no 

Here's the alternative player thingy, just in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic devices:

I Do Not Know Just How To Live

 

DONTKN0W

 This is the next song in the possession album. This is a song that everybody sings together; like, if this were bein' produced as an actual play, then the whole cast would be there on the stage, singing it. Yesiree. 

It's also a song about how it feels to be in such a major depressive episode that you lose all hope for the future. It reminds me a little bit of Linkin Park, and their more sensitive-sounding numbers (although I might be flattering myself about it sounding like Linkin Park).

It came to me in a dream this morning. Some dude was singing it.

There's a theme that I borrowed from a previous album ("we see that it's gone"), which became the main theme of that particular album. This variation of it presented in another dream this morning, and it felt like a good idear to include it in this here song. I think of this theme as a death song, or a song that I wanna sing when I'm dyin' to tell the spirit world that I'm a-comin'. I'm borrowing that concept from the indigenous cultures of this here continent, and I hope that I'm not being a culturally appropriating dick, in doing so.

Oh, yeah, one thing I should mention: I'm not sure where in the sequence of songs this'll go when I make the album all good and final. I think it'll be later on than where it is, in terms of where it's falling on this blog, but I wanted to publish this todayyyy, because of a sense of urgency. I don't wanna get hit by a bus and not have this song available for the world to hear.

The lyrics are:

[Legend: the me-character's lyrics are purple, Timmy and Bobby's lines are orange, Father O'Malley's lines are blue, the fire god's lines are magenta, and the lines everyone sings are red.]

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

Our friend is suffering, and our dumb hands just wring
We do not know just how to live
We called the preacher-man, and now he is on-hand
We do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone, we see that it's gone

I am a preacher-man, but I think that I'm damned
I do not know just how to live
I am a father of a flock that sings of love
I do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone, we see that it's gone

There are five of us, and we are all in one song
We're alive, but just a wee, and something is wrong
There is something 'bout our lives that don't make much sense
And we think that we will cry, cuz we are dense
And I'm Timmy and I'm Bobby, and a preacher-man
And I'm Becky, and I'm bobbing, drowning in the sand
I am just a god of fire, and I do not know
Maybe I should just retire and leave this stupid show

I am a god of fire, I burn what I desire
I do not know just how to live
I have an apology for burning all those trees
I do not know just how to live

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone we see that it's gone

Here's the alternative player-thingy, in case the one up top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

My New Medication

 

MEDICATN

 This is a song about a new medication I'm gonna try. I hope it works.

The lyrics are:

My health is gone; my health is gone 

I'm using my new medication....I hope it works
I'm using my new medication...I hope it works

I'll try this out...I'll try this out
This medicine...and I will see what it brings

I'm using my new medication....I hope it works
I'm using my new medication...I hope it works

Will it have some icky, gnarly, bad side effects?
I will feel dumb particularly if I get wrecked
It's the medicine that doctor whose-it says works
And he said we'll win; I'm not sure, will I go berserk

Here's the alternative player thingy just in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Water and Fire

 

H2O&FIRE

The lyrics are:
I'm water that's holy
I'm fire that goes boldly
when you come to meet me
You'll be steam, you'll be set free

I'm water, I'm fire
I'm in a bottle, I sing to pyres
I'm water, I'm fire
When we meet up, we'll be inspired

The priest has a mission
It's called exorcism
But we'll be together
Creating new weather

I'm water, I'm fire
I'm in a bottle, I sing to pyres
I'm water, I'm fire
When we meet up, we'll be inspired

Will this interaction be something that impacts them?
Will the girl react from the priest's soul extraction
I'm fire, but they may not know
I'm water..will I steal the show?
When we meet up, will we dance?
In side a steamy romance?
Water that is holy will be used to control me...they're
not clear that this only will ride me like a pony
Water will be steam, and it flies off like a dream
It was not foreseen by them; we're on the same team 

Here's the alternative player-thingy just in case you have trouble playing the one up there:

Bears

 

BEARS001

 This is a song about how bear spirits have protected me from malevolent entities. Bears are my friends.

This song feels real important to me cuz it reminds me of Willie Nelson. That's been my aspirational goal for some time now: To sound like Willie Nelson, but with some hip hop elements to it all. God came down and gave me this song; I'm not sure why the timing of it is now, but I know timing can have an intelligence to it. 

The lyrics are:

Bears...tell me that they'll bring the warm-dreams
Bears...tell me that they are on my team

Bears...I used to be afraid

Bears...tell me that they gave me good dreams
Bears...in the cave while I was sleeping

Bears...I used to be afraid

There's a bear, and he says he cares
And I think I was unaware
They have saving grace, I am saying
They came from caves when I was praying
I was staring at the ceiling
And I had a creepy feeling
I think that it was a demon
But that bear sent it reeling

Bears...there's no way that I'm not their not my friend 
Bears...and we'll play until time ends

Bears..I used to be afraid

Holy Water/I'll try to Not Misjudge Your Name

 

HOLYWATR

This is the next song in  the album about possession. The singing part of the song is from the point of view of Timmy and Bobby, and the rapping part is from the point of view of holy water, the very holy water Father O'Malley is going to use in the exorcism ritual stuff.

The lyrics are:

I'll try to not misjudge your name

Holy water has a lot of baggage that's attached to it
I'm emotionally not sure what's my thought – does Jesus live inside this spit?

I'll try to not misjudge your name

Holy water is the name of something churches like to use
But I'm not sure cuz the same old churches have that chilld abuse

I'll try to not misjudge your name

I'm holy water, I'm holy water water
I'm holy water and I see that you're not sure
You're thinking will I save this ship that's sinking?
Or am I just a thing you'll be drinking
I'm water that the church says is holy
They're cock-sure; they assert this thing boldly
They say that I have Jesus's power
Wait, you say....you see just a shower

I won't misjudge your name

Here's an alternative player thingy just in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

Happy Fucksgiving

 

This is a song dedicated to y'all out there, whose Thanksgiving plans got all bollixed up by covid, myself included. It's gonna be a lonely holiday this year; as such, I've renamed it "Fucksgiving." Given that it celebrates that feast with indigenous folks we later fucked over, I think that name is extra special appropriate. So, in any event, Happy Fucksgiving!!!!

 Here's the short and sweet version of it:

FUCKSGVG

Here's the extendo-version. I put a little rap thingy at the end that fleshes out the sad part at the end, and then I return to the original theme for completion's sake:

FUCSGIVG

The lyrics are:
I'm not doing anything for Fucksgiving.

I'll eat a bowl of shit
And then I'll vomit it

Happy Fucksgiving

When covid comes to town
I'll go video my frown

Happy Fucksgiving

I'm not doing anything for Fucksgiving.

It's just a celebration
Of how we fucked the nations

Happy Fucksgiving

Of indigenous people
We fucked them cuz we're evil

Happy Fucksgiving

I'm not doing anything for Fucksgiving.

I'm not doing anything for Fucksgiving, for Fucksgiving.
Never see them again

Covid will blow it; now I have been banned
Covid, don'tcha know it? Now I have no plans
Now I'll never see them; covid is a foe
Holidays are freakin' - no, it's a no-go

Here's the alternative player thingy with the extendo version on it:

 

Father O'Malley

 

O`MALLEY

This is the next song in the possession series. Father O'Malley, who was introduced last week, is the narrator of the song. He's an old hand at exorcism, but he had an ominous dream a while back that's giving him deja vu. He's getting deja vu when he sees the me-character, who's possessed, and he thinks maybe the dream was about the possession he's about to address with exorcism.

The lyrics are:
I am Father O'Malley, and I am a pal
I will come save this girl, yes, I'll give it a whirl
I have experience and exorcism-sense
I send those spirits out; that's what I'm all about

This is like those dreams; this is like those dreams

As soon as I saw her, a strange thought did occur
There's a dream I once had; I think it ended bad
That girl's grandma was here; she said, “now listen here”
Father, I'm not a liar; you are playing with fire

This is like those dreams; this is like those dreams

I think I should proceed with caution

I'm Father O'Malley, and I have a thing that I have to do
This girl has a malady, with fire, and it stings her, but when I'm through
She will be much better; you'll see, when I'm done, this girl will be free
From spirit invasions, from nations of things that won't let her be
I'm Father O'Malley, and I see this girl has a big malady I can correct
Yes, I am a pal, see, that's why Timmy and Bobby want me here cuz I can detect
A thing that looks like a spirit that has fire
I think that my mind says, “clear it” and retire
That old spirit - to greener pastures, he'll be
There's some fear, but I'm clear, I can set her free

I wish that I could remember all of the dream 

Deja vu is the thing I'm experiencing
If my future was told, I might see it unfold
Grandma said there was fire; and my feeling get dire

This is like those dreams; this is like those dreams

I think I should proceed with caution

I am Father O'Malley and I'm walking
Through the fog-thickened valley of death-stalking
I must use caution now; this thing is scary
I may lose my shit; wow, this could get hairy

Here's the other player thingy, just in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

Backwards Song About Missing Someone

BMISTHEM
Here's a backwards song I recorded on 1/17/2020. It's a backwards version of an older song that I'll post next week. I drew that particular picture because one of the song lyrics is "eat me."

Weird miss my kitty cats
Oh, whoops, I put this in the entry with the backwards song, instead of next week's song. This'll give you a preview of what you'll hear next week.

Post script: Crappity crap, actually the forwards version of this song got published back in the spring sometime, I think, so all the stuff about the other song being posted next week ain't true. This was on a timer, and I dunno why I ended up publishing the forwards version a while back. 

Exorcism

 

EXORCISM

 This is the next song in the possession series. In this song, Timmy and Bobby call a priest, Father O'Malley, to come and perform an exorcism on their friend, who's possessed by the spirit of a fire god.

The lyrics are:
We got a priest to move this fire god along
He's not a beast, but our friend has suffered long
Exorcism, we think that might do the trick
It's the best decision and then she will not be sick

Exorcism is the best decision

He's got holy water and a crucifix
We are totally not sure, but we hope this sticks

Exorcism is the best decision

There is a bug in... her computer frame
And it is plugged in...to her stupored brain
There is a virus...it is singing pain
It's made of fire, must...we make stinging rain?
With holy water from a big exterminator
And we are not sure of this spirit terminator
But we must try...everything we can
Cuz she might die and be buried in the sand

Here comes Father O'Malley, and he is a pal
We see he has a cross; he says Jesus is boss
Here comes Father Get-Well; We are not sure, but, hell
We'll give this thing a try so she'll live and she will not die

Here's another player thingy in case the one up there doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Decortication Nation

 

CORTEXES

 While the election is still hanging in the balance, I thought I'd post a song in honor of it. It's a song about how horrible it is to live in America right now. Most people are all poor and struggling and can barely afford rent (and lots can't even do that). That's exactly where the powers-that-be want us. We're so poor and always worried about how to survive, that we cain't use our brains for anything other than worrying about trying to survive. It's as if we've all had our cortexes removed!!!! It's fucked up.

Our cortexes are the parts of our brains that allow us to do higher level thinking. They allow us to organize and plan and get things done. But, in this constant fear state that we're always in, we ain't usin' our cortexes to do that kind of thing. We're in the limbic brain, the emotion part of the brain, always constantly scared and worrying and in survival mode.

In short, it makes us stupid. It's the dumbing down of America. We ain't usin' the parts of the brain that would allow us to think through things and generate ideas that would create positive change in this country.

And that's EXACTLY where the powers-that-be want us to be. They don't want anything to change, cuz that might mean they'd lose power. Just keep us poor and afraid all the rest of our days; we won't make any changes cuz we'll be too worried about bein' able to pay rent or bills or taxes and stuff.

It's as if all of our cortexes have been removed, cuz we ain't usin' 'em. We are the Decortication Nation!!!

poop

CORTXRAP

Post-script: Here's  a slowed-down version the rap; I did it just now so there'll be a version of it with easier-to-understand lyrics. I changed one lyric - from "no political factions" to "those political factions."

The lyrics are:
Our brains were made to think straight and clear
But now we ain't got time cuz we're in fear
Anxiety has killed our cortex
Powers that be made sure we're more stressed

Decotication Nation

Our basic needs are not met; that means
We think survival and not deep things
We can't rebel – with breaking backs, this
Country is hell; we can't afford taxes

Decortication nation

You can not remember how
To think like a person now
Every brain cell has been spent
Figuring out how to pay rent

The cortex is part of the human brain
It's important cuz it helps us to attain
Logical thinking that gets good things done
But our ship's sinking; we can only run
It's as if our cortexes have been killed
Anxiety vortexes take our will
With blinding worry about paying rent
Our minds are blurry and our brains are spent
We can't afford to pay our taxes, and it's breaking our backs, in a hopeless ignorance
Now our cortexes have been hacked, and our credit cards are maxed out, we have just seven cents
Distractions are causing our inaction, so we can't make impacts on no political factions
Simulated cortex removal has congress's approval this anxiety's brutal

No one can get their shit together
To fix these things and make them better
Our constant worry makes our brains dumb
We're in a hurry to get away from

Decortication Nation

Here's that other player thingy, just in case the one up top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

Here's the alternative player-thingy for the slowed down rap. Poopy-poopy-ones.

Smoking Song

 

SMOKING1

This song's in the same vein as the songs in that project about singing and rapping from the point of view of my shadow. But it's weirdly different. In dialoguing with my unconscious this morning, I got the message I was supposed to make art today about stuff in someone else's shadow. It, further, came to me that that someone else hates cigarettes. 

I actually ain't smoked a cigarette in a long time. But this song's about smoking cigarettes. The idear came to me for the song-character to be all worried about Mister Rogers, up in Heaven, hating her for smoking. But, my guess is Mister Rogers would respond the way he does in the picture.

Actually, looking at the lyrics, I'm remembering the song's equally divided between pot and cigarettes. If you were to ask various people their opinions about what's the more conspiliatory drug - would it be cigarettes or pot - some people would say pot's more conspiliatory and others would say cigarettes are more conspiliatory. I know conspiliatory is not a word, but I can't think of the actual word I'm trying to say. Conspiliatory is a place holder for the word I can't think of.

No, I remember, the word I'm looking for is "scandalous." I think some people would feel pot's more scandalous, and others would feel like cigarettes are. It probably depends on if the person lives in a state where pot's legal or not.

The lyrics are:

I smoked outside, after I died, under the tide
The piper was pied; I must confide, he must've lied

I smoked some cigarettes

I smoked some pot under a tree, it was just me
I smoked a lot, down on my knees, God, set me free

I smoked some cigarettes

Smoking a cigarette is lonely
When you're at home and feeling homely
Wait, would Mister Rogers say that he was not sure
If I was smoking like a monster?
Cuz I want him to never hate me
But I do not know if he'll wait for me
When I get to Heaven will this be my lesson?
That maybe I have lost my best friend

I smoked some pot, taking a toke, and forsaking a boke
I smoked a lot, and I got baked, like chicken fried steak

I smoked some cigarettes

Here's that alternative player thingy, in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

Something that I Can't Un-see

 

CNTUNSEE

This is the song where the me-character becomes aware of what the fire-god who is possessing her feels guilty about. She sees people who have been burnt to death - see last week's song where you find out the god of fire feels guilty because fire was used by these mean old Puritan guys to burn alleged witches, back in the day. In this song, the me-character also struggles with the feeling that she's turning into the fire god and often confuses his thoughts with her thoughts.

The lyrics are:
And I burn in fire, he's retired, and I'm such a mess
My mind turns so dire, I perspire, cuz I'm feeling stressed

I saw something that can not be unseen, and it sits in my dreams
“My God,” I sing, why are people so mean? Man, this shit is frightening

I saw something that I can not un-see: It's bad
My God, it burns my eyes and sticks with me: I'm sad
They burned some people and I saw them after they were dead
Flames turned to evil, oh my, now there's ashes in my bed
I'm Becky, but I might be something else instead
Fire pecks me, or just maybe I'm flames, turning red
Am I a fire god or am I just a person possessed?
My mind feels real odd and I cry cuz I'm scared the most-est

And I burn in fire, he's retired, and I'm such a mess
My mind turns so dire, I perspire, cuz I'm feeling stressed

Yes, this fire god is a god of nature and these men have made sure
These girls would not sing cuz they're in danger, and not pray to nature

This is why that fire god feels so guilty
And I'm not inspired cuz I am wilty
With these memories of a thing that chills me
Can I get rid of them? I guess. We'll see.

Here's the other player-thingy just in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your portable-electronic-devices.

In Yellow

 

INYELL0W

This song is horrible and sad. It's from the point of view of a misbehaving cat, who pees outside the litter box. The cat's owners decide to get her euthanized for that reason. It's horrible and sad, just horrible. 

Oh yeah, the part with the "gotta go" is a double entendre that I hadn't realized was there at the onset of my making it up. I realized, after the fact of writing it, it means, not only, I gotta go, as in I gotta pee, but also, I gotta go, as in I gotta go now cuz I'm gonna be dead soon.

The lyrics are:

I want to make this whole house be in yellow

I'm just a dream 

I am a cat that pissed inside the bedroom
Cuz I'm a brat and now they want me dead soon
Gimme a shot so I can sleep forever
You said, "why not?” now you will feel much better

I want to make this whole house be in yellow

I'm just a dream

I peed outside of the litter box, and I'm bad
I see this night might be kitty's last, and I'm sad
I peed inside of the room that has a litter box
They see with eyes singing doom, and piss on their socks
They do not like me anymore, now I must really go
And I will wait at Heaven's door cuz I let cat pee flow
They say that this behavior is something they cannot stand
I hope I find my savior when I get to Heaven's land

I want to make this whole house be in yellow 

I'm just a dream

I'm a gotta-go, gah gah gah gotta go

I'm a gotta-go, gah gah gah gotta go, 

gah gah deh gah deh gotta go, gah gah gah gotta go

gah gah deh gah deh gotta go, gah gah gah gotta go

The Fire God's Confession

 

CONFESS1

 This is the song where you find out why the fire-god inhabiting the girl's brain feels guilty...it's cuz fire was used in burning alleged witches back in Puritan days. The fire god feels all guilty and ashamed because the thing that he's the god of was used to do mean, horrible, awful bad things to people. As a result of that shame, he feels like he can't go home and face his friends.

The lyrics are:

Now I must tell you what
I have done – I'm a butt
And I burn all I touch
Now you'll learn very much

I was burning cuz I'm fire; But some people got inspired
To burn other people that they... think are witches and are evil

I am bad, now you know
Things get sad when I grow
With flames, mad, and I flow
Singing bad, here I go

I was burning cuz I'm fire; But some people got inspired
To burn other people that they think are witches and are evil

This song session is an expression
and a lesson in big confessions 
I am a god of fire, who wishes he'd retired
Before this thing got dire, and I am not a liar
When I tell you that these puritans 

Wanted to control women, with plans
To scare them into not talking to nature gods
And I'm included there; they used me – it's not fair

Yes, my flames did some bad
I have shame, and I'm sad
I can't go home again
Cuz I can't face my friends

I was burning cuz I'm fire; But some people got inspired
To burn other people that they think are witches and are evil

Here's another player thingy in case the one up there doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Linkin Park is in My Soul

 

LPISS0UL

This is another one of those rough demos; in this case, it's just me and a guitar and some of it is stuff I thought up on the spot. It's a song about bein' all depressed and feelin' like listening to Linkin Park cuz they speak to depressed-me on a soul level. I don't wanna say I'm reducin' Linkin Park to just a band that plays stuff about depression, though. They play stuff about other stuff, too.

I Am Evil

IAMEVIL1

 I've been having these horrible muscle spasms in my ears for the past five months. I'm so tired of it. I asked the deeper parts of my psyche what I need to know from them what this is all about and how to stop it. The answer I got was that I was evil and should be punished. That I was one of the ones who got the ball rolling on original sin, I guess you could say. I had a hand in everything being bad and mean about humanity. So, now it's time for me to get tortured by my ear because f it. Everything that is bad about humanity is inside me. I hold everything bad that's in the world inside me. I am everything bad in the world.

Here's last week's song if you play it backwards.

Weird i am evil

The lyrics are:
You are an evil piece of shit and now you're gonna die, why do you even try?
And now you're burning learning well that this is what is hell, you're pissed inside your shell (well)
Yer a person who's damned and now your pen-name is "spam"
And you are learning through crammed material you are damned
I am evil and sending you to Hell
You're bad people who never will be well

This is how it started
It's because of me
Now the world is all fucked up
And it smells like poop and pee

I don't have any friends anymore

I am the first evil, I am not my friend
I'm collapsing people; this is my last end

Fuck I'm stuck inside the muck and now it feels like real bad luck and now I'm going down to hell but I'm singing at the bottom of the well

This is how it started
I am the bad fruit
Humanity farted
It's an evil toot

I have ears that don't stop ringing
My mind is broken but I can't stop singing
I'm blind and stupid but I'm learning
The world is turning but it won't stop burning

We Don't Know Too Much About This

 

WEDKMUCH

 This is the song where Timmy and Bobby decide they need to spring into action, now that it's been confirmed that the me-character has been possessed by the spirit of a fire god. But they don't know what they should do.

The lyrics are:

It is time to get real serious cuz we have to save our friend
From this thing that seems so furious, can we get her on the mend?
Do we need a priest or rabbi or a shaman to come down?
Dunno if this is a bad guy and our feelings start to frown

We don't know too much about this

Now she's saying stuff that sounds like that old fire god is here
Are we praying enough to ground her? Should we get her some more beer?
Should we talk to that old fire god to find out what he's about?
And our thinkings say, oh why not? But we're scared and have our doubts

We don't know too much about this

(Our) friend is suffering but she's tougher than things that might be bad
She is swallowing something wallowing, and it sounds real sad
It's a possession....And our confession:
We need a lesson … in exorcism
Our friend is feeling a burn...and now we need to go learn
Things that will get her...to feeling better

We don't know too much about this

We don't know too much about this thing

Here's the other player thingy, in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your music-playing-computer/phone/tablet-thingy.

Another Shadow Song

 

SHADOWthree03

Yeah, here's another shadow-themed song. I did this one on Sunday. I guess I'm working on 2 projects at once - the possession album and the shadow album, yesiree.

The lyrics are:
My fear, my fear, my fear is living

I don't want to go outside now
I don't want to go outside now

My fear, my fear is living

I'm alone and my mind's dried out
I don't want to go outside now

I am randy and I am handy with the big things that are real good 

I say it is random with the big fandom, and they think my music is wood
Wood that has medicine inside it from a tree that grows from shit
It is from the bark that has a bite in it, and it's true that you might get bit
They say I have an attitude; They say they pray I'll stop being lewd
They say that now I've gotten rude; getting fat on someone else's food
I don't know what they are talking about; it's a thing that makes me go pout
And then I'll want to go scream and shout, it is what I am all about

I Don't Know If We Can Fix It

DKIFWCFI

In this song, the me-character discloses to Timmy and Bobby that I found out from my grandma in a dream that I'm being possessed by a fire god. There's a part of the song where the cat jumped up on the keyboard I was using as reference pitches for the vocals I was doing. You hear me admonish the cat. I left that part in instead of re-doing it cuz it just seemed like a good idea to have some discourse with a cat in there.

Timmy and Bobby sing the first verse, and I sing the second verse. Then the rapping part is the me-character.

The lyrics are:
She was born blind, but then she learned to see
But the only thing that she sees is dreams
She's alone in her singing fantasies
Dancing home with a thing that's burning trees

I don't know if we can fix it

I told Timmy and Bobby what I learned
That my grandma was sobbing cuz I burned
With a fire god who's stick inside my head
It's a dire thought, but I might soon be dead

I don't know if we can fix it

I told my friends about my
Frightful insight from last night
My grandma was inside her bedroom
She and I spoke of frightening things soon
Coming if we do not rectify this business
Running my head, a God who has fire in his chest
Is certainly gonna be
Pissing inside of my dreams
With surety, I will see
Me, burning and fire-breathing

I don't know if we can fix it, we have no plan

I'm dying so quickly, man, shit it's bleak and I am damned

As usual, here's a player thingy for those who have portable electronic devices that're incompatible with the player above:

This is Getting Weirder

 

WEIRDER1

 The plot continues to thicken in the possession album. Timmy and Bobby come to my house, and they see me spraying myself with a hose.

The lyrics are:
We saw her spraying water; this behavior seems not-her

Spraying water on top of her; what she'd doing, we're not sure

This is getting weirder; should we get some beer for her?

She says she's saying, "uncle," and that she's causing trouble

Burning things down to rubble; she wants to put herself out on the double

This is getting weirder; should we get some beer for her?

Every time we go over there

She is acting weird in her lair

She is acting like she don't care

Putting water inside her hair

Why's she spraying herself down?

We are trying to see if her mind is sound

We wonder if she just needs a bath

She's under water, singing with wrath

She is spraying some water

It is landing on top of her

She says that it will foster

Something good. Have we lost her?

It is getting weirder; should we get some beer for her?

Grandma's Room

 

GRANDMAS

 This is the next song in the possession album. The me-character has a dream of being in her grandmother's room, where her grandmother tells her the truth about the possession by the fire-god. Her grandmother tells her she's possessed by a fire-god because the me-character's spirit has fire in it, and the fire-god is drawn to that fiery spirit. Yesiree. 

That old woman in the picture doesn't look like either of my actual grandmas; this picture is of more of a country-music grandma than of a real-life grandma. I always tend to think of grandmothers, when they're mentioned in country songs, as having buns in their hair.

Anyway, Grandma is concerned, so she shows up in a dream to tell me what she's concerned about. In other words, the spirit of Grandma shows up to express her concerns. 

In real life, my grandmothers have shown up in dreams, all worried, when bad things were about to happen. The most salient example is 9/11/2001. On the night of 9/9/2001, I dreamed of two tall houses right next door to each other. One of my grandmas was in one of the houses, all worried, and my dog was barking and growling in the back yard with me (both the dog and the grandma had already passed). A thunderstorm was coming, and the power suddenly went out. In the dream, I felt like it was safer to be outside than indoors, and I wondered why I felt that way, since it's usually better to go inside when there's a thunderstorm.

Anyway, well, you know the rest of the story: 9/11/2001 came 2 days later. 

The lyrics of the song are:
I went inside my Grandma's room, but I know it's just a dream
She said I had to go exhume the water that will be steam
I said do not understand, I don't know what you mean
She said that it is burning bright, the fire that is unseen

Grandma's Room, Grandma's Room

Grandma said that you are part fire, and that is alright'
And that my spirit don't retire, burning in the night
But, now, there is another spirit, burning in my name 

And when I go to drink some beer, it sings inside the flames

Grandma's Room, Grandma's Room

I was sleeping at night, and I was dreaming, a sight I saw was gleaming, the light in Grandma's room
Her tea was steeping, I had a creeping feeling, my mind keeps keeping reeling, I had a sense of doom
My grandma told me, she said it boldly, she said that there's a fire god that's living in my bed
She said my spirit, at times when I have beer in it, makes this old fire god see fit to sit inside my head
It is a warning; yer mind is forming...a weather pattern that looks like it will be storming
A fire tornado, red like tomatoes, it sings some tunes of ruin and doom, if I dare say so
I'm a mirror image of this god, and now I know why he's here, for it is fire I got and, wow, I cry, "Whoah!" 
It is true my soul has fire in it and now he's here, is it now my role to have him sit and drink my beer?

Grandma said that she is worried, that is why she came
And she said that I am burning, singing in the flames
She said that she has got a message, listen very close
There is a thing that is inside me, but it's not a ghost

Grandma's Room, Grandma's Room

Here's the alternative player-thingy, for those of you who have portable electronic devices on which the player up there doesn't work: