I Do Not Know Just How To Live

 

DONTKN0W

 This is the next song in the possession album. This is a song that everybody sings together; like, if this were bein' produced as an actual play, then the whole cast would be there on the stage, singing it. Yesiree. 

It's also a song about how it feels to be in such a major depressive episode that you lose all hope for the future. It reminds me a little bit of Linkin Park, and their more sensitive-sounding numbers (although I might be flattering myself about it sounding like Linkin Park).

It came to me in a dream this morning. Some dude was singing it.

There's a theme that I borrowed from a previous album ("we see that it's gone"), which became the main theme of that particular album. This variation of it presented in another dream this morning, and it felt like a good idear to include it in this here song. I think of this theme as a death song, or a song that I wanna sing when I'm dyin' to tell the spirit world that I'm a-comin'. I'm borrowing that concept from the indigenous cultures of this here continent, and I hope that I'm not being a culturally appropriating dick, in doing so.

Oh, yeah, one thing I should mention: I'm not sure where in the sequence of songs this'll go when I make the album all good and final. I think it'll be later on than where it is, in terms of where it's falling on this blog, but I wanted to publish this todayyyy, because of a sense of urgency. I don't wanna get hit by a bus and not have this song available for the world to hear.

The lyrics are:

[Legend: the me-character's lyrics are purple, Timmy and Bobby's lines are orange, Father O'Malley's lines are blue, the fire god's lines are magenta, and the lines everyone sings are red.]

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

Our friend is suffering, and our dumb hands just wring
We do not know just how to live
We called the preacher-man, and now he is on-hand
We do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone, we see that it's gone

I am a preacher-man, but I think that I'm damned
I do not know just how to live
I am a father of a flock that sings of love
I do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone, we see that it's gone

There are five of us, and we are all in one song
We're alive, but just a wee, and something is wrong
There is something 'bout our lives that don't make much sense
And we think that we will cry, cuz we are dense
And I'm Timmy and I'm Bobby, and a preacher-man
And I'm Becky, and I'm bobbing, drowning in the sand
I am just a god of fire, and I do not know
Maybe I should just retire and leave this stupid show

I am a god of fire, I burn what I desire
I do not know just how to live
I have an apology for burning all those trees
I do not know just how to live

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone we see that it's gone

Here's the alternative player-thingy, in case the one up top is incompatible with your portable electronic device: