New Year's Eve 2020 Song

 

NEWYEARS eve 2020

 Or, whoops, do you call it 2020 or 2021 when it's the eve of the New Year being 2021? But I always spend New Year's Eve payin' homage to the old year. This song continues the "I dunno just how to live" theme that came up recently. See, similar to what I did on last year's New Year's Eve, I wanted to record a song that echoed my favoritest song of that year. Actually, I have a lot of favoritest songs from this year, now that I think of it. But it's the recentest favoritest song.

It's part of that old rock opera about possession I'm a-workin' on. It revisits the theme song of the me-character that came up in the beginning of the album, the one where it was all happy with banjo and bluegrassy sensibilities. But this is the sad version of it, cuz all this crappy stuff has happened to the me-character between when she first song - the happy "Nobody Else Made a Circle for Me" song - and now. Tomorrow, you'll get to hear the sad version of the Timmy and Bobby "We Like Willie Nelson" song, to celebrate the New Year, again, echoing the sadness of saddest sad theme to show how sad they got.

This was a weird year; it was really mixed for me. There were horrors and there were wonderful things too. It's really odd. And what I'm speaking to is completely separate from covid, so that tells you just what an intense year I've had.

Downstairs, my dumb noisy neighbor is having a covid party. I can't believe people are having stupid new years parties when the hospitals are so packed with covid patients that they're not letting people in who have appendicitis and things like that.

This song is also a post-diction of last night's song about wanting to write a song about friends. I had no idea I was gonna write a song about friends tonight. This song has friends in it.

The lyrics are:

Nobody else made a circle for me – a circle a circle circle circle
Nobody else made a circle for me
Nobody else made a circle for me

Another year's gone by, and I think that I'll cry
I don't know just how to live
It feels like time will end, I think I need my friends
I don't know just how to live

Nobody else made a circle for me
Nobody else made a circle for me

Another year's gone by, I look into the sky
I don't know just how to live
I don't know what awaits, Just what will be my fate?
I don't know just how to live

No one else made a circle for me, that is true
I can tell that the world will not see this thing through
But my friends, they made a circle for me
It won't end cuz it's a circularity
Now I need them quite a lot cuz they are who I trust
They are all the friends I got; our love is robust
Timmy and Bobby and Father O'Malley are
Gonna be lobbying with a country guitar

Nobody else made a circle for me, a circle, a circle circle circle

They called the preacher man, and now he is on hand
I don't know just how to live
They're feeling helpless and I'm drowning in the sand
I don't know just how to live

Here's the alternative player thingy in case the one, upstairs, doesn't work when you try to play it on your portable electronic device:

Backwards It's Too Late/ Oh My God

BTOOLATE
Here's the backwards version of "It's Too Late/Oh My God," which is the last song I wrote in 2019. I published it on 12/31/2019, in case you want to take a look at the forwards version of it.

I decided to post the backwards song a year after I posted the forwards song. My God, I was in Hell a year ago. Now I’m in purgatory. I’m hopin’ the health stuff that sent me to the fiery depths of unbelievable-awfulness-I-wouldn’t-wish-on-anyone will finally get resolved in 2021. Here’s hoping.

Weird its too late
Here's the weird version of "It's Too Late," or, in other words, the song above, if you turn it around backwards.

Song About Friends Song

 

SONGFRND

 This is a song about wanting to write a song about friends. I dunno if this poopy song is a rough demo of a future song, or if it's its own thing. I'm experimenting with close-together harmonies. This one has close together harmonies.

The lyrics are:

I'm gonna write a new song

I'm gonna write a new song about friends

Here's the alternative player thingy, in case the other one doesn't work:

What if Heaven is Nothing But Just a Bathroom

HEVENL0O
This song's from the point of view of someone in purgatory, which I conceptualize as a way-station between Earth and Heaven. It's like, purgatory is where people wait to go to Heaven. The narrator of the song is there, and is wondering if Heaven is nothing but just a bathroom. When you think about it, having to pee really bad makes bathrooms seem like Heaven. That sense of relief you get is heavenly, in other words, when you get to the bathroom and do your business. If Heaven is a bathroom, it might be nice, but some people might be disappointed cuz they might be expecting something more grand.

Weird what if heaven is just a bathroom
Here's last week's song, if you play it backwards.

The lyrics are:

Bread in the station, in a sky of blue, in a sky of blue

Yes, I am waiting, for the time to do, (the) trip up to the loo

What if old Heaven is nothing but  just a bathroom? (2x)

Fuck, I am waiting, for the time to go (but) when, I do not know

Stuck in the station, reaping what I sow, man I’m feeling low

What if old Heaven is nothing but  just a bathroom? (2x)

What if I’m sinking fast? What if I’m sinking low?

Stuck in a shrinking past, fuck is it time to go?

Fuck I am feeling low, waiting in Heaven’s glow

Luck is a fleeting show, (I’m) Praying it’s time to go

What if Heaven is just a bathroom, to the side of a dingy classroom?

Bread unleavened it’s past noon, fast soon; I will go to the bathroom damn soon

What if heaven is just a place where, we poop and pee and we don’t stare

At our colleagues who are relieving, the thing that is poop and peeing?

What if Heaven is stuck in the bathroom?

The Fire God's Death Song

 

FIREDETH

 In this song, the next song in the album/rock-opera-thingy about possession, the fire god is pining for home. He's homesick for the sun. He hears his friends and relatives in the sun talking about stuff, and he decides to sing his death song because he expects singing it will bring him home. This might be a wee bit confusing cuz the death song part is the same as the me-character's death song!!!! Stay tuned...you'll have a better idear about what's going on later. (I haven't written the song that'll provide clarification yet, but it'll appear soon enough).

This song features Lulu the cat!!!!! This is a picture of Lulu! Her meows were originally in F# Major, so I had to change the pitch a little bit to make it F minor (or A flat major, depending on how you look at it).

Here's Lulu's sister, Luci!!! She meows, too, but I haven't gotten her on tape yet.

The lyrics are:

We are children of the holy land
Citizens of fire that gave us man
Denizens inside the turning sun
It is hot enough to burn your buns

Are those my relatives? Everything I would give
To go and be with them, and see my friends again
I wish I had not flown the coop cuz I'm alone
Oh poop, was I stoned? I want to go back home

I hear voices of my fire-god friends
singing in the sun that may just mend
Burning spirits like me, who have sinned
I want back again, please let me in!

The death song I want to sing is the thing
To bring me back to the sun's golden rings
Yes, I'll sing that death song melody now
It will bring me home if I sing it loud!!!!

Home,
I want to go back home
I want to go back home
I want to go back home

I have ears that won't stop ringing
My mind is broken, but I can't stop singing
I'm blind and stupid, but I'm learning
The world is turning but it won't stop burning

I want to go back home

I want to go home

I want to go back home

Here's an alternative player thingy, in case you have trouble playing the one up at the top:

I Don't Know Just How To Live

 

DONTKN02

 This is the same song as the one I published on December 4th, but a different version of it. I wanted to do a version that sounded like the dream I got the song from, so this one is about a sad man, who is a priest, or a preacher. He's sad. Sad, sad man.

The lyrics are:

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know just how to live

I am a preacher-man, but I think that I'm damned
I do not know just how to live
I am a father of a flock that sings to love
I do not know just how to live

I don't know, I don't know, I don't know just how to live

Here's the alternative player-thingy in case the one up top doesn't work with your portable electronic device:

Why is She Talking About Bears, Now?

 

WHYISSHE

 In this song, the other characters are confused cuz the girl starts randomly talking about bears. 

WHYSHE22

Here's another mix that doesn't have the extendy part at the end. It's probably a crappy mix, but I'd been thinking this song might potentially sound better shorter and sweeter. 

WHYSHE33

Okay, this one here is probably the bestest mix cuz the one at the top has the rapping part at the end being too loud and overpowering the mix. The short and sweet one ends too abruptly. This one might be okay. Yeah, try this one.

The lyrics are:

What is she talking 'bout? What is this thing?
The holy water made her start to sing
We thought the holy water had not worked
Now we are totally not sure; now there's a quirk

Why is she talkin' bout bears now?

She said that Jesus tells her to sing to bears
So now we see just how much He seems to care
We don't know why it's bears in particular
The water got on her hair and it made a stir

Why is she talkin' bout bears now?

buh dark uh darng, guh dark uh buh-duh dark uh darng

This was real unexpected and we don't know
I think we'll take a second to think just so
We'll have better reflections on how to go
In the next good direction, yes, we said, “whoah”
She's talkin' bout a big bear and we are confused
She's got water in her hair and she said she'd use
Whatever knowledge this animal has in store
We hope that it doesn't start a new holy war

Here's the alternative player-thingy just in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Here's the better mix:

Here's the crappy mix:

2000 Year Lullaby

 

2000YEAR

 This song's a re-working of  a song I did back in 1997. I always liked the hook of it, and all, y'know, so I decided to re-work it, usin' the same hook, but other stuff around it. Maybe if I get the wherewithall, I'll attempt to post the original one, so you can see what the 2 of them sound like. Yeah, I might do that. It's a song about how we get lost in all the stress of buying gifts for people who have so much stuff they don't need any gifts, and lose sight of what Christmas was originally about. 

I've got a picture of Jesus drinking beer, there. He's one of the characters in my graphic novels, and that's what he looks like in them. Y'know, he's contemporary guy, living in contemporary times, and he drinks beer.

The lyrics are:

What is the point of this old holiday?
where you have to buy presents for people that don't need anything?
It feels real stupid but, then I remember
There's a song that haunts me and wants me to sing

Two thousand year lullaby, playing to the moonlit desert sky
Three very tall men sporting aftershave .. come to
See a baby who has souls to save

Two thousand year lullaby, playing to the moonlit desert sky
The night was born into a better day
With light that formed a beacon on the way

I want to remember who this day is about
it is for December's Jewish baby with clout
Well, I mean, Jesus was not quite born on this day
But I don't see just why not light a tree, anyway

And now I remember why

Two thousand year lullaby

Here's the alternative player thingy, as usual, in case the one, up top, doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Download 12 2000 year lullaby

 Okay, I dug up the original version of this song that I did back in 1997...I was messing around with my brother's trumpet. And that's a real banjo there. I wanted to sound like Talking Heads way back then.

Whiskey in My Eggnog

 

EGGOG001

 This is a Christmas song...I was in the mood to do a Christmas song, which is odd, because I don't feel particularly Christmas-y yet. Maybe I will in a day or 2. In any event, this is a song about a person who wants to put brandy in her eggnog, but upon realizing she forgot to pick up any brandy at Von's (a southern California supermarket, in case you're not familiar with it) decides to put whiskey in it. 

I borrowed my kitties' toys to make the jingle bell sound. Kitty toys make good jingly bell sounds. One of my cats tried to attack me because I was shaking her toys in the microphone. She was all, "This is my toy!!!! MY TOY!!!!!!!!"

I was trying to go for a bluegrassy sound because country music lends itself favorably to Christmas songs (well, in my book, they do)...but it might sound more like German Oom-Pah-Pah music than anything else.

Post-script: whoops I shoulda said “whiskey’s in the game” and not “on the game.” Must’ve been covid-lockdown-brain making me loopy-poopy. If I ever re-record this little ditty, I’ll make that correction.

The lyrics are:

I got whiskey in my eggnog

I got whiskey in my eggnog

I forgot to get the brandy at the Von's

I got whiskey in my eggnog

It tastes shitty, but it does the job
I got whiskey in my eggnog

I feel no pain, cuz whiskey's on the game

I got whiskey in my eggnog

I wish I had...some brandy, but
I'll make due with some whiskey cuz it's handy, but
Next Christmas, I'll...get pissed and I'll
Make sure that brandy's on my Christmas list to buy

I want a Christmas tree; I want a Christmas tree

I got whiskey in my eggnog; I got whiskey in my eggnog

Here's the usual alternative player thingy, in case the one up top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Death Song to Make Bears Come

 In this song, the me-character realizes that, even though Father O'Malley threw holy water on her, the fire god is still inside her. Then she gets inspiration to call on bears, who are her friends and protectors in the spirit world. If nothing else, they can continue to remind her who she really is, so she doesn't lose her identity because she's scared that old fire god might take over.

I revisit a theme I've used in other songs cuz it's a song I think of as being my death song, a song you sing when you're about to die to let the spirit world know you're a-comin'. Since the me-character feels a kinship with bears, she's predicting that singing that old death song will call bear spirits to her cuz she feels a kinship with them. Bear spirits will recognize her when they hear the song and come to her assistance. 

A death-song is actually a concept I'm borrowin' from various Native cultures on this here continent. I hope I'm not mangling the concept or being a culturally appropriating dick by making use o' this here concept. It's something I think about a lot, though. It seems like the best way to die would be singing a death song (or maybe laughing). 

DEATHSNG

The lyrics are:

That fire god's still inside me
And I might lose my identity
The fire god is an entity
Stuck in side me, but Jesus sent me

Something that will remind me
My spirit's still inside me
That death song melody
Will help me start to see

I have ears that won't stop ringing
My mind is broken, but I can't stop singing
I'm blind and stupid, but I'm learning
The world is turning, but it won't stop burning

I have some allies that
I did not know were there
They look like dogs and cats
I'll call the singing bears!

My mind is stupid and singing
I don't know why my ears have not stopped ringing
Maybe I'm stupid, but I'm learning
The world is turning, but it won't stop burning

It's the death song that will call the bears to me because
They will know who I am and they care cuz I'm their cous-
in with musical inspiration that makes them come
It's a death song, and it's a rule of thumb
It's a musical calling card that will make them come
They won't lose me; even from far, they will come run
They're the bears, they're the bears, and I know that they do care
I'm aware that they care, and they'll come down Heaven's stair

Here's the alternative player-thingy just in case the one up there at the top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Here's the bears song from a few weeks ago: this is the one that'll be next in the album after this week's song. But since I already posted it, I'm not gonna make a whole new post.

Not Working

 

NOTWRKNG

This is the next song in the album about possession: Father O'Malley performs the exorcism ritual, which involves throwing holy water on the possessed person. It didn't work.

The lyrics are:
No nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no
Nosiree nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no

Why's this not working? The spirit's still lurking
Holy water is best
But it evaporates like a sample
Cake that has been digested 

No nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no
Nosiree nee no no
No nee nee no nee no no

It's holy water, and we are not sure
Why this is falling flat
Maybe the spirit thinks there is beer in it
And it makes him get fat

Wait, what is this thing that seems to be wrong here?
I think I need a drink: I need some strong beer
I'm good at exorcism; it's my mission
It is the best decision, and it sinks in
This thing is fiery, and it is wily, it is much stronger
It sings a high C, cuz it is mighty, it's been here longer
Than other spirits that I have steered in a good direction up to Heaven
Now, it is clear that, and I have fear that, I must confess this is a messy one

I am a priest-man - will I release and...
Let this spirit go free?
And save the girl from this thing? I feel dumb
I have fear; but, we'll see

No nee no no 
No nee nee no nee no no 
Nosiree nee no no 
No nee nee no nee no no 

Here's the alternative player thingy, just in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic devices:

I Do Not Know Just How To Live

 

DONTKN0W

 This is the next song in the possession album. This is a song that everybody sings together; like, if this were bein' produced as an actual play, then the whole cast would be there on the stage, singing it. Yesiree. 

It's also a song about how it feels to be in such a major depressive episode that you lose all hope for the future. It reminds me a little bit of Linkin Park, and their more sensitive-sounding numbers (although I might be flattering myself about it sounding like Linkin Park).

It came to me in a dream this morning. Some dude was singing it.

There's a theme that I borrowed from a previous album ("we see that it's gone"), which became the main theme of that particular album. This variation of it presented in another dream this morning, and it felt like a good idear to include it in this here song. I think of this theme as a death song, or a song that I wanna sing when I'm dyin' to tell the spirit world that I'm a-comin'. I'm borrowing that concept from the indigenous cultures of this here continent, and I hope that I'm not being a culturally appropriating dick, in doing so.

Oh, yeah, one thing I should mention: I'm not sure where in the sequence of songs this'll go when I make the album all good and final. I think it'll be later on than where it is, in terms of where it's falling on this blog, but I wanted to publish this todayyyy, because of a sense of urgency. I don't wanna get hit by a bus and not have this song available for the world to hear.

The lyrics are:

[Legend: the me-character's lyrics are purple, Timmy and Bobby's lines are orange, Father O'Malley's lines are blue, the fire god's lines are magenta, and the lines everyone sings are red.]

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

Our friend is suffering, and our dumb hands just wring
We do not know just how to live
We called the preacher-man, and now he is on-hand
We do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone, we see that it's gone

I am a preacher-man, but I think that I'm damned
I do not know just how to live
I am a father of a flock that sings of love
I do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone, we see that it's gone

There are five of us, and we are all in one song
We're alive, but just a wee, and something is wrong
There is something 'bout our lives that don't make much sense
And we think that we will cry, cuz we are dense
And I'm Timmy and I'm Bobby, and a preacher-man
And I'm Becky, and I'm bobbing, drowning in the sand
I am just a god of fire, and I do not know
Maybe I should just retire and leave this stupid show

I am a god of fire, I burn what I desire
I do not know just how to live
I have an apology for burning all those trees
I do not know just how to live

Something does not seem right, I lost my appetite
I do not know just how to live
My bad psychology will always follow me
I do not know just how to live

We see that it's gone, we see that it's gone we see that it's gone

Here's the alternative player-thingy, in case the one up top is incompatible with your portable electronic device: