Friday, October 11, 2024

Moment of Silence Is All I Need


Moment of Silence

 I'm putting a parental advisory picture on this song in order to serve as a trigger warning, cuz this song deals with suicidal stuff.

This song's gonna be part of an animated movie I'm working on about this horrible ear condition I came down with in 2019, which persisted into 2020. Well, I still have it, but it got more manageable in late 2020. It's called middle ear myoclonus. Middle ear myoclonus is muscle spasms or twitches in the middle ear that cause a person to hear rumbles, thumps, whooshes, clicks, and other bad sounds. When it first started, I kid you not, said horrible sounds were as loud as if they were coming out of a sub-woofer at a rock concert with my ear next to it. My ears would make those horrific rumbling sounds for hours and hours at a time, every 30 seconds or so, at random. It was startling and painful.

What makes it worse is, when you go to talk to doctors about it, they act all dismissive because most of them never heard about it. They were never taught it in medical school, so they just say things like, "just get used to it." Or, "why don't you distract yourself with other sounds?" (That doesn't work). It's rare to find a doctor who actually has heard of that condition and is willing to treat it (thankfully, I found one, after talking to about half a dozen doctors who didn't know shit).

Anywayyyyy, since that time, I've connected with other people online, who have the same condition. Lotta people get suicidal in response to this condition because it is torture, and it makes you stressed out all the time and feel alone and depressed. And this fun-fact makes me wonder how many people with this condition have completed suicide.

And, so, this is all a long-winded way of saying this song is telling all these dumb, dismissive doctors to take this condition seriously and NOT say, "At least it's not life threatening," because it is. It is life-threatening, because anything that makes people suicidal is life threatening, by definition, damnitall!!!!!


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