I'm Not Feeling Very Musical Beefed Up 2
I think a lot of people have no idea what horrific shit lies ahead of us. So this song's sort of like a prayer; a prayer to God to mitigate all the horrific shit that lies ahead of us. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it won't be so horrific. I hope I'm wrong, and it won't be horrific. But I think it's going to be horrific.
The idea for the next song came to me, so I made a wee li'l rough draft, which I'll follow up with next week, with a more fleshed out version and all that. This and the song from yesterday might be the beginning of a new album. Maybe, maybe. Maybe so.
The top one has the better rap in it. The bottom one has the poopfart rap in it.
Well, okay, I thought last week's song was the last song of the Fucked Up Relationship Album, but I wasn't all the way happy with how it turned out, so I took another stab at it. Who knows? Maybe next week, I'll realize I wasn't happy with this version and will take, yet, another stab at it. Pretty soon, there will be millions of versions of this song. Bleh.
Yesterday, I got up, and I checked in with myself about what emotions I was feeling. I felt a Great Sadness that was all around me. The sadness wasn't just my sadness - the sadness was coming from the land. The sadness was coming from spirits. The sadness was coming from people. The sadness was everywhere. I was in the Land of Crying Ghosts, so that's what this song is about. Will this nation survive? I have my doubts.
Stoners in the Desert Version 1
I was working on an animated movie I'm making, and there's this one part where the characters come across as being stoners in the desert. That inspired this song. It's about stoners in the desert.
Damn, I've come to the end of the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4 (and the Fucked Up Relationship Album, in general). Wow, man, wow. I started The Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 1 in September or October of 2022. It's weird to be comin' to the end of something that's been a part o' my life for such a long time. Man, man, man. Anyway, this is actually a reprise of a song I did in 2021, but with some modifications; I figured it'd be a good ending for this album. Dang, dang, dang, it's so hard to say goodbye to working on something like this, but I guess I gotta wrap it up and all that. It was fun. At least the listener knows I didn't go back to him, yet again, cuz all the relationship fucked upness ends here. That's a fine thing.
Here's another one of those drunk church songs. This is from when they survived that tornado.
It's a Heavenly hymn, with a touch of survivors' guilt.
Fucked Up Relationship Album Reprise
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Relationship Album, Part 4. It's a reprise of the very first song on Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 1. Yup, I'm wrapping this up. Geez, man, I wonder what I'll do next.
I was all woohoo happy with last week's song, and then this week rolled around, and I felt a wee bit of dread in the pit of my stomach. I realized: Chances are the next song won't be as good as the last one. This is not a low-self-esteem-ish thing - it's more of a statistics thing. On any given day, we are more likely than not do something that's in the average range. I mean, after all, that's why it's called, "average." Statisticians call it "regression to the mean." You do something really awesome one day, and the next day, you're likely to regress to your average performance, instead of doing super good, day after day. So, here's my next song, which probably falls in the average-range for me.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. It's a true story! Y'know how you send your ex's stuff back them after you break up? Well, this is how that all went.
I'm putting a parental advisory picture on this song in order to serve as a trigger warning, cuz this song deals with suicidal stuff.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character has gotten away from her gross ex-boyfriend and is relishing in her new-found freedom.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character is reflecting on how he treated her horribly, but, as far as she knew, he treated his other girlfriends well. Is it cuz she's a horrible person??? Is it????
Sucky i leave a trail behind me demo
I'm doin' a project that involves writing songs about snails...here's one of them! Stay tuned for other stuff sort of like this.
Here's my wee little experiment with combining live video with animation. Below is a recording of the song in stereo, in case you want to hear it in stereo (unfortunately, the animation software only makes mono versions of sound stuff).
Sometimes I wonder if, even though my ego tells me I'm a relatively decent person, I'm really quite bad underneath. Maybe stuff I'm doing these days that is socially acceptable by today's standards, but it is actually nefarious by a more objective standard. Y'know, like, maybe someday in the far, far distant future, whatever race of beings is alive on this planet will look back at us and say, "Those humans were evil." I mean, back in the day, people thought slavery was okay. Maybe there's stuff we're doing right now that's just as bad as slavery, but we all think it's fine cuz we're blinded by social norms and stuff.
Note: I'm using a tritone in the verse-parts of the song - that was intentional. This little chord thingy I'm using is known as the Devil's Triad. Yay!
Here's the momentous event, the break up call (the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4). It's the break up call! The BREAK UP CALL! My office mate was privy to the whole thing. True story.
Theres Not Even a Point to Having a Point
Here's another existential number for you all. It's, yes, another existential little ditty, questioning the nature of existence and all that jazz.
Dialing My Boyfriend for the Last Time Mix 2
This is a song about the beginning of a break up call (the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4).
The more I slog through this life, the more I realize there's nothing protecting any of us. If there are guardian angels, they seem to be out to lunch somewhere when we most need them. Rather than the universe being a big, unified, loving whole, governed by a compassionate force, I've come to the conclusion that the universe is a dumb place of chaos and random shit. Nobody is safe, man. Not the righteous, and not the shit-heads. We're all at the precipice of horrible awfulness and Hell all the time, and some of us are already there, already in the place of horrible awfulness and Hell.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4; the main character decides to drive to school to do the break-up phone call with her boyfriend, so she won't end up associating her living room with the traumatic memory of a break-up call. She discovers that her office-mate is there, in the room where she's gonna do the break-up call!
Whoops, I didn't mean to post this - I was saving it for a rainy day. Oh, well, I guess that rainy day has come.
This may not be a very good song, but it's probly something people can relate to.
Thank God Yesterdays Over Demo
Here's another demo. This here post is a dumping-ground for poorly done demos.
Here's, yet, another demo, of a song that's part of a bigger project
Linkin Park Has A New Singer Part 2 Version 3
Here's that song I did yesterday, where I realized the chorus-y part was a plagiarism of one of my other songs. I re-did the chorus, tryin' to aspire for a mood that was better with the rest of the song. Then I added another part at the end. I dunno if that other part at the end is needed, but there it is. Yeah, I'm a little ambivalent about that new part.
Linkin Park Has A New Singer Part 2
This is the 2nd song I did today about Linkin Park having a new singer. When I watched them all performing online yesterday, I was uber-impressed with how they sounded. Yay, excitement! Then I cried because I'll always miss Chester, and I'm sad about Rob leavin' the band (but respect his decision).
Oh, crikey. I realized I plagiarized one of my own songs in this one part. But I haven't posted that other song yet, cuz I don't have a version of it that I'm satisfied with. Alas. I guess if I ever do have a satisfactory version of that one song, I can go back and change the part that sounds like it in this song.
Linkin Park Has a New Singer Part 1
I did a couple songs today about Linkin Park having a new singer. I'm happy and excited that they're doing new music and stuff; and she's really good, too! Yay! But there's a sadness and a poignancy to the whole thing, since I'm gonna miss Chester and Rob (the drummer, who decided to leave the band).
My Mom Said You Don't Have To Wait
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4; the girl and her horrible boyfriend have a fight, and at the end, he sez they should wait 4 days before they talk next, I guess to cool down or whatever. Upon hanging up, she realizes she's ready to break up with him, but is all bummed out about having to wait 4 days to do it.
My left eyelid has been twitching for a week now. FUCK!!!!!! Make it stop!!!!!!! (See music video below).
Here's another version of a song that I've been trying to improve about the end of the world. I made this version a wee bit repetitious. I'm not sure if I'm happy with it or not. Bleh.
This is either an intro to a song or a rough draft of said song. We'll see how I feel later on. My voice is poopy raspy-ness today, but usually the first performance is the best of any song. I dunno why that is. Anyway, it's a rough idea I got down for a potential song that might evolve into something.
Here's a rough draft (above this writing). I still wanna do a better version of it, but at least you know what I want it to sound like, roughly.
Here's a link to the place that does the best printing of the book:
See the post from 8/30/2024 for more links!
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album. The girl gets back from visiting her mean, controlling boyfriend, and they have a fight on the phone a week or so later.
This is another one of those end-of-the-world songs. It's about people deciding to get drunk when the end o' the world comes. Let's get drunk and have a good time while the world falls, and the sun will start to shine through crumbling walls.
This is a song from the point of view of someone who doesn't want to live anymore, but isn't necessarily suicidal. It's called, in the psychology business, "morbid ideation with no suicidal intent or plan." I should say...if you are suicidal, 988 is the number to call if you wanna talk to someone; and if you're a Veteran, it's 988, and then you press "1" for the Veterans Crisis Line.
Anyway, the theme of this song is, "Why bother bein' human, if all humans do is destroy the earth?" Enjoy!
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album. Part 4. The girl finally decides that she's ready to break up with her mean boyfriend, and she's talking to him in her mind, sort of.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. After the girl finds out she gets into a play, unbeknownst to her mean boyfriend, she hears his voice behind her, reading the subject line of the email ("Summer Theater"). She's all, oh, no, now he knows!
This song came to me in a dream last night. It's, literally, about dropping the ball, as in, messing up.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. Remember a few songs back about how the main character auditioned for a play? This is the song that talks about the outcome of that audition.
Purple SUV With A Bubble Butt Version 2
Here's the second version of the song I did last night; okay, I'm feelin' better about this one than last night's version. Just to recap, one day, a few months ago, I was driving around and I saw this purple SUV, and the back end was sorta blorpy. It was a purple SUV with a bubble butt! It sounded like a nice thing to do a song about, so that's what I did.
A few months ago, I was driving around and I saw this purple SUV, and the back end was sort of blorping out. It had a blorpy back end. I thought to myself, "That's a purple SUV with a bubble-butt." That was the inspiration for this here song. But my voice sounds like ass today; it sound like my voice wiped someone's ass with sand paper. So, if I decide I like this song enough, I'll do a better version some other day in the not-too-distant-future. This is a really rough mix, too, cuz it got late, and my brain is too fried to do a bunch of good-mixin' stuff. I think the lyrics in the verses could be better, too; I think I wanna aspire to do something a little more poetical, if I do a subsequent version of it. Enjoy!
Okay, post--script - I think I know what to do to fix this song - the "Purple suv demo 2" one is the brain wave that came to me of how to make this song not suck so much (see, also, below). Bleh, I'm tired. I'm gonna veg now.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album #4. The main character gets in trouble with her boyfriend, this time around, for staying up late cuz she has jet lag. That's when she snaps. All at once, she makes the realization of how stupid this whole situation is, havin' a boyfriend, who acts like he's got all this authority over her, as if he was a mean parent and she was a naughty kid. She's like, what the fuck? What the actual fuck? Gettin' in trouble for watching TV? Really?
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. In this one, the main character goes to her folks' house for spring break, and for whatever reason, a miracle happens. She's sitting in the sun, pulling weeds with her mom, and they're just talking about regular stuff, including how fucked up the fucked up relationship is. Something about that made the sun come back out. The girl's soul comes back. Her depression is gone all of a sudden!
Pulling Weeds Slow Low Version
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character is working on her dissertation proposal, or I should say, she wants to work on it. It's due the next day. But her poopy boyfriend is keeping her on the phone, talking her ear off about boring stuff. She comes up with an idea she wants to get down, and she starts typing it up. Fucked-upness ensues.
All I Want To Do Is Songs About Death
Here's a song about how I've been mainly motivated to write about death and existential issues and stuff these days. I guess it's kind of a statement of the obvious, given my recent track record.
It's The Night Before My Dissertation Proposal Is Due
This is a true story, and the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. It as the night before my dissertation proposal was due. I was workin' on it and thought I'd talk to mean controlling boyfriend dude for just a few minutes. Y'know. A goodnight call and all that. And he proceeded to talk my ear off.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. It's about how when I auditioned for that play, I didn't tell my dumb boyfriend about it.
Here's a little ditty I wrote 23 years ago. I'd been goin' through a major depressive episode, and then it resolved suddenly. Once it resolved, I wrote the song. Fun-fact: in my original recording, I played the same banjo I'm playin' in today's recording. I'm old. My banjo's old. But my banjo isn't as old as me.
Good Rap Version:
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The main character tells her friend about her depression (which is in response to the impending breakup with the mean boyfriend). Her friend tells her it might be good to do an extracurricular activity and stuff. She tells the main character about a play she was in the previous summer that's gonna be happening again this year. Maybe the depressed main character can audition for it!
Good rap version:
Poopy rap version of it below:
Here's the 5000th song about death. Death's on my mind; what can I say? It's on my mind.
This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 4. The boyfriend tells the main character what he wants her to do after she graduates. She wants her to work for him! He wants to be her boss again!
I was in a weird, reverie state last night, when I thought of the idea of conceptualizing the universe as being just one big fire. All the suns, which are hot, hot, hot balls of fire - those suns are the flames and sparkles that make up the giant fire that is the universe. And then, eventually, like all other fires, the giant fire, that is the universe, will some day peter out. Oh yeah, I was attempting to sound like the Drunk Church that inhabits my mind. I was probably not very successful.
