I Guess I Run Away

 

I Guess I Run Away

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. It's about the main character finally giving into the temptation to call her ex-boyfriend.

The lyrics are:

(2 Months Ago)

I called my ex-boyfriend, I told him the breakup gave my mind bad weather
It is raining, storming in my mind; let us get back together

He asked me why I broke up with him in the first place
I said an honest answer with a frowning face

I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey
I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey

(2 months ago)

I called my ex-boyfriend; I told him I am depressed cuz of our breakup
I called my ex-boyfriend; I stressed that I think I just had a wake up...

Call in the form of my brain telling me I need him
Because without him, my feelings had gotten so grim

I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey
I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey

(2 Months Ago, the

It Needed Saving)

My soul, it needed saving

(The presence he was gracing)

Presence he was gracing

(Sex we might have)

I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey
I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey

I asked him if he had a new girlfriend
If he said yes, see, I would have hurled then
He said, no, he is currently single
But I made his life into a sinkhole
Of despair; I asked him for forgiveness
Can we repair things? You're the man I want to kiss
He said let's talk about it in the morning
Now the sun sets on a hope that might be forming

I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey
I guess I run away when I'm feeling grey

Ask the Land/Ask the Trees/Coyotes

Ask the Land and Ask the Trees

 I realized, after the fact, that yesterday's song needed a general introduction, so I added a little general introduction/rap-thingy to it. And I did a little tweaking to the rest of it, too, man.

Ask the Land/Ask the Trees

 

Ask the Land

This song is about an evil housing development that is getting planned in the town I grew up in. Instead of building on flat, ugly, depressing land that could be improved with the addition of some nice houses, they're planning on chopping down 3000-4000 oak trees, paving over rare natural habitat and killing a bunch of members of endangered species. So, I'm protesting against it. I see a vision of the future: hundreds and hundreds of coyotes and other wild animal will be running into the nearby neighborhoods, fleeing the destruction of their habitat. And said coyotes might just eat a bunch of people's kids and pets. That's what I'm imagining, anyway.

I wish the powers-that-be would ask the land what the land wants. Sure, people need houses, but there's a wise way to do it, a way that doesn't involve paving over land that is sacred to me. (And probably sacred to the Indigenous people from these parts,, the Chumash People).

Anyway, this is my song o' protest. Yes, indeed.

Drunk Dialing My Ex-Boyfriend

Drunk Dialing My Ex-Boyfriend

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. It's the one where the main character drinks lots of beer and considers drunk dialing her ex-boyfriend.

The lyrics are:

Two months ago, the fact that I was facing

Is, well, don'tcha know? My boyfriend's not a great thing

He said my soul, it needed saving

He took control - my presence, he was gracing

A man who's so controlling isn't my cup of tea

What should I do? I'm not knowing, but it is up to me

I'll drink some beer and reflect on this dilemma

I feel unclear about this man, who drives a Sentra

I think I am thinking 'bout drunk dialing my ex-boyfriend

I know you think that I might be stupid

This arrow stings that came out of Cupid's

Stupid shotgun-thing and it makes me have doubts

I'll make the phone ring of the man I think about

I am so tired of being such a big loner

It feels so dire; I'll call him and give him boners

Maybe he will want to give it another go, man

This time, we'll have fun in a relationship so grand

I think I am thinking 'bout drunk dialing my ex-boyfriend

I'm getting ready for drunken dialing

I feel unsteady, but I'm smiling

Thinking about the sex we might have

Makes me think we will reach the height of fab-

ulousness...am I creating

A big mess? Or will this be a great thing?

Will I regret this in the morning?

My guardian angels gave me warnings

I think I am thinking 'bout drunk dialing my ex-boyfriend

 

It Fucks With Fucks

It Fucks With Fucks

This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. The girl continues to wrestle with ambivalence about calling her ex. Her guardian angels think she shouldn't. 

7 Sundays - Country Depresso Version

7 Sundays - Country Depresso Version

 I recorded 2 versions of this song - this is the Country Depresso version of 7 Sundays. I changed up the chorus a bit and it's all slow and depressing and banjo-y. I guess both versions have different things to offer. Yessiree.

I'm Putting Out//Starting the Fire

 I dreamed this morning that I was listening to Talking Heads '77, and this song was playing where David Byrne was singing, "I'm putting out the fire, I'm starting the fire" over and over. I guess it was a song about a man who was ambivalent about a fire. I tried to replicate it (don't really remember what it sounded like in the dream, except that it sounded like early Talking Heads). Here it is.

I'm Putting Out and Startinng the Fire

 

I Aspire To Be What I Already Was

I Aspire To Be What I Already Was

This is a song about an old fart (in other words, me) missing the mojo of youth. Being old sucks.

The lyrics are:

Better days are behind of me and that sucks
I think maybe I'll find other people who feel fucked

My throat burned fierce and my eyes sang with with passion
Many years ago
My mind was clear, and I moved in cool fashion
Many years ago

But things don't always stay the same
Things can start to suck
No they don't always stay the same
Sometimes you say "fuck"

And I aspire to be what I already was
Was, was, was, was
And I aspire to be. aspire to be
What I already was, already was
Aspire to be aspire to be
what I already was, already was, was was was was was

The sunshine entered my brain through my retinas many years ago
Younger than young, I was dead-set on getting the suns eternal glow

But the rain fell like tears from God telling me I am old
And I am now no longer hot; I'm ugly as a toad

And I aspire to be what I already was
Was, was, was, was
And I aspire to be, aspire to be
What I already was, already was
I aspire to be , aspire to be

What I already was, already was

My brain was a different kind of beast then
When I was young, I did not care the least when
Old people said this will not last forever, man
I was invincible, I felt so grand
I wish I had even 10% of what
Ambition and passion I had when I was young but
Disappointment comes down like a big rain storm
I had better self esteem before my brain formed
All the way - my younger days are when I felt free
Now I say, I feel gray, old and without glee
Now I aspire to be what used to be
I feel dumb and I can see I'm not that young me

Was, was, was, was
Was, was, was, was
I aspire to be, I aspire to be

Yeah, This Fuckedness Sucks

 

Yeah This Fuckedness - Mix 2

 Last night, a stretch of music, comprised of nonsense syllables and lots of fucks came to me, and it turned into the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. It's about the main character feeling all fucked up and depressed because of the breakup and debating with herself about calling her ex. 

The lyrics are: 

Yaddis fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss saddest her
Yeah, this fuckedness sucks, it fucks with, fucks, fucks with saddest her

She feels fucked - she's in a double bind
She thinks she's stuck cuz she left him behind

Yaddis fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss saddest her
Yeah, this fuckedness sucks, it fucks with, fucks, fucks with saddest her

She's really sad - she knows he was a jerk
She feels real bad - she thinks, "can this thing work?"
She wonders, can this guy be her soul-mate?
Should she give him a try? But, he's not so great

Yaddis fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss saddest her
Yeah, this fuckedness sucks, it fucks with, fucks, fucks with saddest her

She wonders if she should give him a call
This bastard, who goes by the name of Paul
He was a mean prick, but there was a spark
Of affection, but her feelings got dark
When she was with him, she felt abused
Could things be different? She's feeling confused
This depression is not going away
She wonders if that means she should have stayed

She picks up the phone and
She puts it back down and
She does not know what to do
And she feels like poop

Maybe she will sleep on this thing
Let's not call and make his phone ring
She will wait till she feels certain
If it's a mistake to call this person

Yaddis fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss fuckt, fuckdiss saddest her
Yeah, this fuckedness, it fucks with, fucks, fucks with saddest her

20 Years Have Passed

20 Years Have Passed

This is a song about a happy day I remember...it was actually 25 years ago, but "20 Years" sounds cooler. It was this sunny day and me and my Dartmouth friends were out in the sunshine, drinking beer and smoking pot. It was just lovely. This song is meant to be sorta poignant, as in, here I am, this old fossil, looking back at when I was young and having fun and the future, ever so bright, was ahead o' me. Yes, indeed.

The lyrics are:

I found something in my drawer - it was a photograph
Of myself and my old friends and all of us were laughing

The sunshine was never ending; the sunshine was never ending (never ending)

20 years have passed - looking through the glasses of my fossil eyes
And I think I'll cry

20 years, those were great friends
20 years since that photo was taken

I was smoking cigarettes and laughing in the grass
With my very bestest friends from my Dartmouth class

The sunshine was never ending; the sunshine was never ending (never ending)

20 years have passed - looking through the glasses of my fossil eyes
And I think I'll cry

20 years, those were great friends
20 years since that photo was taken

Since that photo was taken
Since that photo was taken

Since that photo was taken
Since that photo was taken

It was the sunniest day on the planet
It was so great, that you could not have planned it
We were drinking beer and smoking some pot
Now, it is so clear that I will not
Ever feel that way in the sunshine again
Now the skies are grey and I'm missing my friends

I should call them even though it's been a while
I'll break the silence; I'll pick up the phone and dial

Since that photo was taken
Since that photo was taken
Since that photo was taken
Since that photo was taken

Yes, I think I'll call my friends; I'll give it a try
If they pick up, I will tell them I called to say, "hi." 

Mister Charm, Part 2

Mister Charm Part 2

Mister Charm Part 2 Mix 3

 This is the next song in the Fucked Up Relationship Album, Part 2. It's supposed to sound like a fever dream, and the picture is supposed to look like a fever dream, or the thingy in the dream-cloud, I mean. But it ended up looking kinda American Flaggish.

The lyrics are:

Why do I like him? I should not miss him

I'm too scared to fight him, but I want to kiss him

Was he my soul-mate? He was not so great

I feel uncertain...was he my person?

This feels like a bad fever dream - why

Do I want to be with this dumb guy?

He made everything about  him, and

My life with him would have been grim - damn!

Mister Charm is a stupid-head

He's not the man I thought he was

Mister Charm is a stupid-head

He's not the man I thought he was

7 Sundays

 

7 Sundays - Mix 2

This is a song about going to a land where every day is Sunday. It's like, wow, every day is Sunday, so there's no Monday that comes after it. It's a Sunday without the Sunday Scaries. It's a Sunday of Magic.