Grandma Said to Hold on Tight

 

Grandma Said to Hold on Tight

 This is the next song in the possession album. Back in the fall, I recorded a song called, "Grandma's Room," just to refresh your memory. The grandma of the girl who is possessed comes in a dream and warns her about how dire her situation is. In this song, Grandma's spirit has returned and is telling the girl about the importance of staying here with Timmy, Bobby, Father O'Malley, and the bears, instead of following the fire god up to the sun.

The lyrics are:

I want to go upstairs with my old fire god buddy
But I could stay with the bear clan and my thoughts are muddy
I do not know what happened, my brain is shrinking
And that old fire god is inside of my thinking

Then my grandma came here
She said let me be clear
They have fur that is black
And those bears have your back

I feel like me and that fire god are connected
There is a reason I am [the one] he selected
I feel like he thinks I am a special person
But, maybe, in real life, I am just a cursed one

Then my grandma came here
She said let me be clear

They have fur that is black

And those bears have your back

Hang on tight, hang on tight, she said
Hang on tight, hang on tight, she said

Grandma said to hold on tight
Grandma said to hold on tight

My grandmother is here, and she is a seer from the land of dreams
She is clear and she has some fear; she said things are not what they seem
And she said don't go up to the sun cuz you'll burn and you will get fried
Yes, my mind's turning and churning now that I'm learning that I might die
But the fire god makes me feel like I am special, I won't deny
I feel mixed, in the river Styx, I say, “shit” and I start to cry
Grandma says she sympathizes, but I must stay down here
With Father O'Malley and Timmy and Bobby and some beer

Here's the alternative player thingy, in case the one at the top doesn't work on whatever you're using to play music on:

Earthquake City

 

Earthquake City

When I started writing this song, I thought it was gonna be all abstract, with random, dream-like imagery. But, then the song glued itself together and ended up having a coherent theme, after all.

I get lotsa myoclonic jerks when I'm tryin' to sleep - those are mini-seizures, where you wake up with a jerk. But "wake up with a jerk" can be a play on words, as in, you wake up with a man in your bed, who's a jerk. 

It's like, you know that point in time where you realize a relationship isn't going to work? It can feel like an earthquake. It can make you wake up to the fact that things aren't working. It can make you wake up to the fact that he's a jerk. You can wake up with a myoclonic jerk that shakes you like an earthquake and find a man in your bed, who's a jerk. It's a wake up call - wake up and smell the icky-gross flavored coffee: It's time to break up.

The lyrics are:

I am the great earthquake, That shakes you wide awake
I shook the world apart, ashes live inside my heart

Earthquake city
Sits in your dreams

Your dreams are everywhere, singing inside your hair
When they come out to play, earthquakes come the very next day

Earthquake city
Giving you shitty dreams

You woke up with a jerk
And knew it would not work
No, you don't like to be shaken
But now you are awake, friend
You've got a myoclonic boyfriend
And you wonder how the fuck it happened
This won't work, you're stirred and you're shaken
He's a jerk, and now you're awakened
I am a dream apart from the world in your heart
I am the great earthquake that shook your world awake

Earthquake city
Sits in your dreams

Earthquake city
Giving you shitty dreams

(You have a myoclonic boyfriend)

Here's the alternative player thingy, just in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic device, laptop computer, desktop computer, or general listening device:

Country Music Food Song

 

Country music food song

 I realized yesterday I hadn't done any country songs in a long time, and I got sad. The sadness functioned as an invitation for country music to come back to me, and this old timey song about food came in my half-awake reverie state last night in bed. It's a song about how country music likes food.

I was finally able to successfully make a sample of Lulu the cat meowing into a chord - a kitty chord that doesn't just sound like a bunch of cats yelling. But because the frequency and timber of her voice is similar to mine, I had to turn it down in the mix because it was competing with my vocals too much. But I turn the kitty up at the end so you can hear the magnificent splendor of Lulu singing C, G, and F major chords.

The lyrics are:

When country music left the scene, I got sad and felt undone

But it came back inside my dreams, and we had lots of fun

I like crackers, corn-fillet; like anything you serve today
I like beans, and I like stew; I like anything that you call food

And when it came back to my dreams, it had a bunch of food
It said I like to cook with steam; that is my attitude

I like cake and I like pie; I like anything that's baked or fried
I like coffee with my cream; I like anything that's cooked with steam

It was missing from...my dreams, I felt dumb
I said, “come back, dude,”...it said I'll bring food
It came inside my dreams...giving me songs to sing
Once I called my friend back...I got a Big Mack attack
I forgot to call it here...now I'm feeling dumb, but clear
I will know to call my friend...Country music's Heaven sent
Yes, I forgot to call it here...now I'm feeling dumb, but clear
I will know to call my friend...Country music's Heaven sent

Or is this country music or another type of tune?

I'm bad at classifying songs, but maybe I'll learn soon

I like tuna casserole; I like anything that makes me full
I like burritos and rice; with tequila, it goes down real nice

Here's the alternative player thingy, in case the one up top doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

We're Worried

 

WORRIED2

 

This song sorta gives you the lay of the land of what's going on in this part of the possession album. The girl is staring at the bears with a blank look and the other characters are wondering if they're communicating telepathically.

The lyrics are:

We saw her staring at those bears
It was one of those thousand yard stares
And she looks like she might be stoned
But, maybe, to her, this feels like home

We love her, and we're worried
Her mind got stirred, with eyes blurry
We are in the bears' theater
Making sure they don't eat her

Those bears are our natural selection
With telepathic, neural connections
We think it is a conversation
She is having with...the bear nation

We love her, and we're worried
Her mind got stirred, with eyes blurry
We are in the bears' theater
Making sure they don't eat her

Here is the lay of the land, so you'll see 
We are afraid something bad, unforeseen
Might come upon us cuz we are with bears
They might just eat us, and that makes us scared
But our friend might be okay talking telepathically
To the bears who seem to be listening empathically
Will she be free? And will she see that a fire god isn't her kind?
He makes her bleed, she needs a seed that'll let her inhabit her mind

Will those bears send the fire god home?
Or will he cook us up, like we're scones?
But those bears have some medicine
And they care, and they might just be kin

Of the girl, yes, we're worried
Her mind got stirred, with eyes blurry
We are in the bears' theater
Making sure they don't eat her

Here's the alternative player thingy, just in case the one at the top doesn't work when you try to play it on your portable electronic device or home computer:

Freezing Hot Covid Shot/I'm Made of Metal

 

Freezing Hot Covid Shot

This is a song about how weird the second covid vaccine made me feel. Actually, I still feel really weird, even though it's been 5 days since I got it. But the first night, I went into a 101.1 degree fever and I felt weirder than weird. The malaise triggered by the shot made me feel as if I had a flu-bug on an alien planet. It made me feel like I was made of metal. It made me feel like I was a robot with a robot cold. That's the best description I can come up with for this.

The A phrase actually came to me when I had that fever; in retrospect, after I started working it into a song, I realized it's a wee bit of a re-statement of some of my earlier songs, but I kept on going with making it into a song cuz this is the song my fever wanted me to write.

The lyrics are:

I am your covid vaccine
giving you some fever dreams
I am making you feel freezing hot

I'm the shot you got today
making your world swim away
I am making you feel freezing hot

I have never felt this way before

I'm made of metal

I will emulate for you
Something like a fever-flu
I am making you feel freezing hot

This feels alien to you
And you don't know what to do
I am making you feel freezing hot

I have never felt this way before

I'm made of metal

I feel like I'm made of metal,
Like steel. I'm feeling unsettled
This must be what a flu feels like
On an alien planet, oh, shite!
But I will smoke some pot on the double
Taking a toke will make me untroubled
I feel like I am being bold
When I say that I have a robot cold

Here's the alternative player thingy in case the one up top doesn't work on your handheld, portable electronic device, laptop, or desktop computer:

It Survived

 

It Survived

 This song has a convoluted back story. My freshman year in college, I was in a hall group of people that I had nothing in common with. It was a really lonely time, and I had to go elsewhere to find friends. The people in that group were all into cute stuff and they had all these teddy bears. I'd felt neutral about teddy bears, up until that point - but after being inundated with all this cute-shit and teddy-bear-shit from people I didn't like, I started writing poems about The Bear. I kept on killing off The Bear in different scenarios, but The Bear would always come back to life. For instance, The Bear got run over by an airplane on an airport runway. But the next day, The Bear was back again to get hit by a bus or something. 

These days, bears are all sacred to me, as you can probably tell from my other songs. So, I wrote a song about how I tried to kill bears off, or The Bear, in particular, in my poems in college, but then, I later discovered bears are my friends. I even have some teddy bears now, cuz why the fuck not?

The lyrics are:
The bear got run over airport runway
The bear got run over airport runway

It survived, it survived
It survived, it survived

I tried to kill the bear cuz I'm sinful
But now I am aware he's a symbol

It survived, it survived
It survived, it survived

I thought he had nothing to do with me
But he's my friend; I feel dumb, now that I see

He was in place of things that I don't like
But now I know he brings in the sunlight

It survived, it survived
It survived, it survived

I have a friendship that I will tend
Now that I know that he is my friend
He is a bear who says that he cares
Yes it is there, a friendship that's rare
What I mean by that...
Is that this is the kind of friendship that's rare
This is where it's at
This is a friendship that I have with a bear

I thought he had nothing to do with me
But he's my friend; I feel dumb, now that I see

Here is the alternative player thingy, in case the one up top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

Rough Demo of an Earthquake Song

 

This is a rough demo of an earthquake song. I'm not sure if I'll record the regular version this weekend or next weekend, but here it is. This particular track has the benefit of my air conditioner turning on during it. Yay, air-conditioner sounds!!!

Rough Demo of an Earthquake Song

 As usual, here's the alternative player thingy in case the one up top doesn't work:

Such A Beautiful Child

 

BEAUTIFL

This is the next song in the possession album, but it could also be a stand-alone song, too, maybe.

So, the me-character is there, in the valley of the bears, and she gets the psychic impression that part of her soul is hanging out with those bears, a little baby-part of her soul. That's how the bears know who she is and, consequently, are her allies.

But, weirdly - and this is going to sound weird - this song is autobiographical. I once went to a shamanic practitioner for some soul retrieval. See, shamans believe that when there's a big-time trauma, sometimes a person's soul fragments, and the broken-off-part of the soul goes off somewhere else. It's called soul loss. (It's not too different from what clinical psychologists say about people's psyches fragmenting when they get traumatized). 

So, anyway, when I went to this shamanic practitioner, she told me a little baby part of my soul was hanging out with a bunch of bears. She said "You have friends in the Bear Nation." Apparently, when I was a wee, young pup, and was just about to get eye surgery, part of my soul freaked out and got the hell out of dodge. That part o' me ended up in a cave with all these nice bears.

I think I was about 1.5 or so years old when I got that surgery. So, anyway, the hook of this song ("Such a beautiful child") came to me in a dream about a month ago. I knew what it was about - it was about those bears sayin' that the little baby part of my soul is a beautiful child. For some reason, I was resistant to finishing writing and recording this song. I'm not entirely sure why; so, I put that in the actual song - the first verse describes the resistance I had about singing this here song.

The lyrics are:

I am resisting this thing that I'm singing
Such a beautiful child, such a beautiful child
It is persisting, insisting I must sing
Such a beautiful child, such a beautiful child

Those bears said when I was a baby, part of my soul escaped from me
That's how they who I am, that's how they know who I am
That baby part is with them in their den, playing in the bears' play-pen
That's how they know who I am, that's how they know who I am

Eye surgery was on the menu for me
That's why my baby self was in a hurry
To get away from that scary procedure
My spirit ran from that surgery theater
We are the bears and we know that she had come to us
When she was barely a baby and we thought we must
Just take her inside of our den cuz she was looking scared
We got some good medicine for her cuz we are bears
She was scared of a procedure that involved both of her eyes
And we care for, and we see her, and we hear her shuddering cries
Part of her spirit came up on us, broken off it came on the last bus
She's still with us in a big cave, playing with bears who make sure she's safe

Trust us, you must just hang on to us, we'll bus
Such a beautiful child, such a beautiful child
You to the haven that you crave to be safe in
Such a beautiful child, such a beautiful child

Those bears said when I was a baby, part of my soul escaped from me
That's how they who I am, that's how they know who I am
That baby part is with them in their den,, playing in the bears' play pen
That's how they know who I am, that's how they know who I am

Here's the alternative player thingy just in case the one up top doesn't work on our portable electronic device:

Testing Out This New Computer

Whoops, I think this song is set to go live in a day or so, but I'm posting it just to test out this new computer and make sure it works.

BEAUTIFL

 

Song With Crod In It

BACDARK1
This is a song that has the word, "crod" in it, which sounds like a kind of fish.

It Has To Be That

 

ITHAS2B1

 In this song, the next song in the possession series, the me-character is so intertwined with the fire god, that she decides she has to go up to the sun with him, when he leaves. Really, this is song is sort of like a song about a person in a bad relation who stays too long. I wrote this song on the heels of the break-up song I wrote about going to Mars, but I put this one on a timer so it would be in the right place in the sequence of songs of this project. Everyone is concerned, as you can see in the picture. Generally speaking, this song is a co-dependency themed song.

The lyrics are:

I'll feel real dumb if he goes away
Up to the sun and I have to stay
I might just die if I go up there
But I have to try to go up Heaven's stair

It has to be that

I have to stay and I have no choice
I might just die, but he's my only voice
He is my light; I must stay with him
In the darkest night; when my sight is dim

It has to be that

If I die...I hope that (I hope that, I hope that)
I will come back as a cat (as a cat, as a cat)

My old buddies are worried cuz I might fly away
Am I bloodied? In hurries to seek my passion play?
Am I Jesus on top of a cross that is the sun?
They say please just stop, you should let him go and run

My friends are concerned and the do not want this
They think I will burn, and it's me they'll miss
But he's half of me, and I have to go
Afterwards we'll be in the flaming glow

It has to be that

The Bad Relationship Song #999

 

BADRLSHP

 This is a song about being in a bad relationship and looking back on it and realizing both people in it were idiots. Neither were impeccable. Both people, both of them, were horrid jerks. The narrator of the song, further, laments that she cannot take back her (or his) bad behavior and all the dumb stuff that happened in the dumb-stupid relationship.

They lyrics are:

It's the bad relationship song number nine hundred and ninety nine

This is a tale but it's not of two cities
It is a tale of two idiots
Yes we have failed cuz we are shitty
It is a tale of people who are butts

I wish that I could take it back...yesterday

It's the bad relationship song number nine hundred and ninety nine

I am not an innocent bystander
I am not an innocent bystander: We're both idiots

We are the ships that are passing at night
Now you see that we're shitty and bad, and a blight
On the pristine sea, when we're seen
We make it seem like it's a bad dream

I am not an innocent bystander: We're both idiots/

Here's the alternative player thingy, in case the one up there doesn't work: