Smoking Song

 

SMOKING1

This song's in the same vein as the songs in that project about singing and rapping from the point of view of my shadow. But it's weirdly different. In dialoguing with my unconscious this morning, I got the message I was supposed to make art today about stuff in someone else's shadow. It, further, came to me that that someone else hates cigarettes. 

I actually ain't smoked a cigarette in a long time. But this song's about smoking cigarettes. The idear came to me for the song-character to be all worried about Mister Rogers, up in Heaven, hating her for smoking. But, my guess is Mister Rogers would respond the way he does in the picture.

Actually, looking at the lyrics, I'm remembering the song's equally divided between pot and cigarettes. If you were to ask various people their opinions about what's the more conspiliatory drug - would it be cigarettes or pot - some people would say pot's more conspiliatory and others would say cigarettes are more conspiliatory. I know conspiliatory is not a word, but I can't think of the actual word I'm trying to say. Conspiliatory is a place holder for the word I can't think of.

No, I remember, the word I'm looking for is "scandalous." I think some people would feel pot's more scandalous, and others would feel like cigarettes are. It probably depends on if the person lives in a state where pot's legal or not.

The lyrics are:

I smoked outside, after I died, under the tide
The piper was pied; I must confide, he must've lied

I smoked some cigarettes

I smoked some pot under a tree, it was just me
I smoked a lot, down on my knees, God, set me free

I smoked some cigarettes

Smoking a cigarette is lonely
When you're at home and feeling homely
Wait, would Mister Rogers say that he was not sure
If I was smoking like a monster?
Cuz I want him to never hate me
But I do not know if he'll wait for me
When I get to Heaven will this be my lesson?
That maybe I have lost my best friend

I smoked some pot, taking a toke, and forsaking a boke
I smoked a lot, and I got baked, like chicken fried steak

I smoked some cigarettes

Here's that alternative player thingy, in case the one up at the top is incompatible with your portable electronic device:

Something that I Can't Un-see

 

CNTUNSEE

This is the song where the me-character becomes aware of what the fire-god who is possessing her feels guilty about. She sees people who have been burnt to death - see last week's song where you find out the god of fire feels guilty because fire was used by these mean old Puritan guys to burn alleged witches, back in the day. In this song, the me-character also struggles with the feeling that she's turning into the fire god and often confuses his thoughts with her thoughts.

The lyrics are:
And I burn in fire, he's retired, and I'm such a mess
My mind turns so dire, I perspire, cuz I'm feeling stressed

I saw something that can not be unseen, and it sits in my dreams
“My God,” I sing, why are people so mean? Man, this shit is frightening

I saw something that I can not un-see: It's bad
My God, it burns my eyes and sticks with me: I'm sad
They burned some people and I saw them after they were dead
Flames turned to evil, oh my, now there's ashes in my bed
I'm Becky, but I might be something else instead
Fire pecks me, or just maybe I'm flames, turning red
Am I a fire god or am I just a person possessed?
My mind feels real odd and I cry cuz I'm scared the most-est

And I burn in fire, he's retired, and I'm such a mess
My mind turns so dire, I perspire, cuz I'm feeling stressed

Yes, this fire god is a god of nature and these men have made sure
These girls would not sing cuz they're in danger, and not pray to nature

This is why that fire god feels so guilty
And I'm not inspired cuz I am wilty
With these memories of a thing that chills me
Can I get rid of them? I guess. We'll see.

Here's the other player-thingy just in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your portable-electronic-devices.

In Yellow

 

INYELL0W

This song is horrible and sad. It's from the point of view of a misbehaving cat, who pees outside the litter box. The cat's owners decide to get her euthanized for that reason. It's horrible and sad, just horrible. 

Oh yeah, the part with the "gotta go" is a double entendre that I hadn't realized was there at the onset of my making it up. I realized, after the fact of writing it, it means, not only, I gotta go, as in I gotta pee, but also, I gotta go, as in I gotta go now cuz I'm gonna be dead soon.

The lyrics are:

I want to make this whole house be in yellow

I'm just a dream 

I am a cat that pissed inside the bedroom
Cuz I'm a brat and now they want me dead soon
Gimme a shot so I can sleep forever
You said, "why not?” now you will feel much better

I want to make this whole house be in yellow

I'm just a dream

I peed outside of the litter box, and I'm bad
I see this night might be kitty's last, and I'm sad
I peed inside of the room that has a litter box
They see with eyes singing doom, and piss on their socks
They do not like me anymore, now I must really go
And I will wait at Heaven's door cuz I let cat pee flow
They say that this behavior is something they cannot stand
I hope I find my savior when I get to Heaven's land

I want to make this whole house be in yellow 

I'm just a dream

I'm a gotta-go, gah gah gah gotta go

I'm a gotta-go, gah gah gah gotta go, 

gah gah deh gah deh gotta go, gah gah gah gotta go

gah gah deh gah deh gotta go, gah gah gah gotta go

The Fire God's Confession

 

CONFESS1

 This is the song where you find out why the fire-god inhabiting the girl's brain feels guilty...it's cuz fire was used in burning alleged witches back in Puritan days. The fire god feels all guilty and ashamed because the thing that he's the god of was used to do mean, horrible, awful bad things to people. As a result of that shame, he feels like he can't go home and face his friends.

The lyrics are:

Now I must tell you what
I have done – I'm a butt
And I burn all I touch
Now you'll learn very much

I was burning cuz I'm fire; But some people got inspired
To burn other people that they... think are witches and are evil

I am bad, now you know
Things get sad when I grow
With flames, mad, and I flow
Singing bad, here I go

I was burning cuz I'm fire; But some people got inspired
To burn other people that they think are witches and are evil

This song session is an expression
and a lesson in big confessions 
I am a god of fire, who wishes he'd retired
Before this thing got dire, and I am not a liar
When I tell you that these puritans 

Wanted to control women, with plans
To scare them into not talking to nature gods
And I'm included there; they used me – it's not fair

Yes, my flames did some bad
I have shame, and I'm sad
I can't go home again
Cuz I can't face my friends

I was burning cuz I'm fire; But some people got inspired
To burn other people that they think are witches and are evil

Here's another player thingy in case the one up there doesn't work on your portable electronic device:

Linkin Park is in My Soul

 

LPISS0UL

This is another one of those rough demos; in this case, it's just me and a guitar and some of it is stuff I thought up on the spot. It's a song about bein' all depressed and feelin' like listening to Linkin Park cuz they speak to depressed-me on a soul level. I don't wanna say I'm reducin' Linkin Park to just a band that plays stuff about depression, though. They play stuff about other stuff, too.

I Am Evil

IAMEVIL1

 I've been having these horrible muscle spasms in my ears for the past five months. I'm so tired of it. I asked the deeper parts of my psyche what I need to know from them what this is all about and how to stop it. The answer I got was that I was evil and should be punished. That I was one of the ones who got the ball rolling on original sin, I guess you could say. I had a hand in everything being bad and mean about humanity. So, now it's time for me to get tortured by my ear because f it. Everything that is bad about humanity is inside me. I hold everything bad that's in the world inside me. I am everything bad in the world.

Here's last week's song if you play it backwards.

Weird i am evil

The lyrics are:
You are an evil piece of shit and now you're gonna die, why do you even try?
And now you're burning learning well that this is what is hell, you're pissed inside your shell (well)
Yer a person who's damned and now your pen-name is "spam"
And you are learning through crammed material you are damned
I am evil and sending you to Hell
You're bad people who never will be well

This is how it started
It's because of me
Now the world is all fucked up
And it smells like poop and pee

I don't have any friends anymore

I am the first evil, I am not my friend
I'm collapsing people; this is my last end

Fuck I'm stuck inside the muck and now it feels like real bad luck and now I'm going down to hell but I'm singing at the bottom of the well

This is how it started
I am the bad fruit
Humanity farted
It's an evil toot

I have ears that don't stop ringing
My mind is broken but I can't stop singing
I'm blind and stupid but I'm learning
The world is turning but it won't stop burning

We Don't Know Too Much About This

 

WEDKMUCH

 This is the song where Timmy and Bobby decide they need to spring into action, now that it's been confirmed that the me-character has been possessed by the spirit of a fire god. But they don't know what they should do.

The lyrics are:

It is time to get real serious cuz we have to save our friend
From this thing that seems so furious, can we get her on the mend?
Do we need a priest or rabbi or a shaman to come down?
Dunno if this is a bad guy and our feelings start to frown

We don't know too much about this

Now she's saying stuff that sounds like that old fire god is here
Are we praying enough to ground her? Should we get her some more beer?
Should we talk to that old fire god to find out what he's about?
And our thinkings say, oh why not? But we're scared and have our doubts

We don't know too much about this

(Our) friend is suffering but she's tougher than things that might be bad
She is swallowing something wallowing, and it sounds real sad
It's a possession....And our confession:
We need a lesson … in exorcism
Our friend is feeling a burn...and now we need to go learn
Things that will get her...to feeling better

We don't know too much about this

We don't know too much about this thing

Here's the other player thingy, in case the one up at the top doesn't work on your music-playing-computer/phone/tablet-thingy.

Another Shadow Song

 

SHADOWthree03

Yeah, here's another shadow-themed song. I did this one on Sunday. I guess I'm working on 2 projects at once - the possession album and the shadow album, yesiree.

The lyrics are:
My fear, my fear, my fear is living

I don't want to go outside now
I don't want to go outside now

My fear, my fear is living

I'm alone and my mind's dried out
I don't want to go outside now

I am randy and I am handy with the big things that are real good 

I say it is random with the big fandom, and they think my music is wood
Wood that has medicine inside it from a tree that grows from shit
It is from the bark that has a bite in it, and it's true that you might get bit
They say I have an attitude; They say they pray I'll stop being lewd
They say that now I've gotten rude; getting fat on someone else's food
I don't know what they are talking about; it's a thing that makes me go pout
And then I'll want to go scream and shout, it is what I am all about

I Don't Know If We Can Fix It

DKIFWCFI

In this song, the me-character discloses to Timmy and Bobby that I found out from my grandma in a dream that I'm being possessed by a fire god. There's a part of the song where the cat jumped up on the keyboard I was using as reference pitches for the vocals I was doing. You hear me admonish the cat. I left that part in instead of re-doing it cuz it just seemed like a good idea to have some discourse with a cat in there.

Timmy and Bobby sing the first verse, and I sing the second verse. Then the rapping part is the me-character.

The lyrics are:
She was born blind, but then she learned to see
But the only thing that she sees is dreams
She's alone in her singing fantasies
Dancing home with a thing that's burning trees

I don't know if we can fix it

I told Timmy and Bobby what I learned
That my grandma was sobbing cuz I burned
With a fire god who's stick inside my head
It's a dire thought, but I might soon be dead

I don't know if we can fix it

I told my friends about my
Frightful insight from last night
My grandma was inside her bedroom
She and I spoke of frightening things soon
Coming if we do not rectify this business
Running my head, a God who has fire in his chest
Is certainly gonna be
Pissing inside of my dreams
With surety, I will see
Me, burning and fire-breathing

I don't know if we can fix it, we have no plan

I'm dying so quickly, man, shit it's bleak and I am damned

As usual, here's a player thingy for those who have portable electronic devices that're incompatible with the player above:

This is Getting Weirder

 

WEIRDER1

 The plot continues to thicken in the possession album. Timmy and Bobby come to my house, and they see me spraying myself with a hose.

The lyrics are:
We saw her spraying water; this behavior seems not-her

Spraying water on top of her; what she'd doing, we're not sure

This is getting weirder; should we get some beer for her?

She says she's saying, "uncle," and that she's causing trouble

Burning things down to rubble; she wants to put herself out on the double

This is getting weirder; should we get some beer for her?

Every time we go over there

She is acting weird in her lair

She is acting like she don't care

Putting water inside her hair

Why's she spraying herself down?

We are trying to see if her mind is sound

We wonder if she just needs a bath

She's under water, singing with wrath

She is spraying some water

It is landing on top of her

She says that it will foster

Something good. Have we lost her?

It is getting weirder; should we get some beer for her?

Grandma's Room

 

GRANDMAS

 This is the next song in the possession album. The me-character has a dream of being in her grandmother's room, where her grandmother tells her the truth about the possession by the fire-god. Her grandmother tells her she's possessed by a fire-god because the me-character's spirit has fire in it, and the fire-god is drawn to that fiery spirit. Yesiree. 

That old woman in the picture doesn't look like either of my actual grandmas; this picture is of more of a country-music grandma than of a real-life grandma. I always tend to think of grandmothers, when they're mentioned in country songs, as having buns in their hair.

Anyway, Grandma is concerned, so she shows up in a dream to tell me what she's concerned about. In other words, the spirit of Grandma shows up to express her concerns. 

In real life, my grandmothers have shown up in dreams, all worried, when bad things were about to happen. The most salient example is 9/11/2001. On the night of 9/9/2001, I dreamed of two tall houses right next door to each other. One of my grandmas was in one of the houses, all worried, and my dog was barking and growling in the back yard with me (both the dog and the grandma had already passed). A thunderstorm was coming, and the power suddenly went out. In the dream, I felt like it was safer to be outside than indoors, and I wondered why I felt that way, since it's usually better to go inside when there's a thunderstorm.

Anyway, well, you know the rest of the story: 9/11/2001 came 2 days later. 

The lyrics of the song are:
I went inside my Grandma's room, but I know it's just a dream
She said I had to go exhume the water that will be steam
I said do not understand, I don't know what you mean
She said that it is burning bright, the fire that is unseen

Grandma's Room, Grandma's Room

Grandma said that you are part fire, and that is alright'
And that my spirit don't retire, burning in the night
But, now, there is another spirit, burning in my name 

And when I go to drink some beer, it sings inside the flames

Grandma's Room, Grandma's Room

I was sleeping at night, and I was dreaming, a sight I saw was gleaming, the light in Grandma's room
Her tea was steeping, I had a creeping feeling, my mind keeps keeping reeling, I had a sense of doom
My grandma told me, she said it boldly, she said that there's a fire god that's living in my bed
She said my spirit, at times when I have beer in it, makes this old fire god see fit to sit inside my head
It is a warning; yer mind is forming...a weather pattern that looks like it will be storming
A fire tornado, red like tomatoes, it sings some tunes of ruin and doom, if I dare say so
I'm a mirror image of this god, and now I know why he's here, for it is fire I got and, wow, I cry, "Whoah!" 
It is true my soul has fire in it and now he's here, is it now my role to have him sit and drink my beer?

Grandma said that she is worried, that is why she came
And she said that I am burning, singing in the flames
She said that she has got a message, listen very close
There is a thing that is inside me, but it's not a ghost

Grandma's Room, Grandma's Room

Here's the alternative player-thingy, for those of you who have portable electronic devices on which the player up there doesn't work: