I Don't Know What To Say

I Don't Know What To Say

 I've been wanting to write a song like this for a long time. Y'know how when music comes to you in your dreams, it sometimes keeps changing constantly, in a really cool way? Like, it goes from one part to the next to the next to the next, in a smooth sequence? And when I wake up to write it down, I can only capture just a teeny tiny part of it, and all the rest of it falls out of my memory. 

Well, this morning, I kept waking up and hearing a fragment of a song; so I'd write down that fragment and then go back to sleep. Well, that bit o' music would be stuck in my head, and then in the next dream, the music would play, and then go to the next part of the larger song that it is. So, I'd wake up and write that next part down. I kept repeating that process 5 or 6 times, and then I made a whole song out of it.

All the lyrics are from the actual dreams (except for the intial rap, and except for the part where I sing about it being the last day of 2022 - that part of the song didn't actually have lyrics in the dream, so I had to make 'em up after the fact). 

The lyrics are:

I had a dream with a song in it, and then I wrote it down
And then I fell asleep and the next part of the song came out
And I kept repeating this process, and it don't make me frown
It's an evolving song from dreams, and this is how it sounds:

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say

It's the last day of 2022

I love you, but our relationship is complicated
I love you but our relationship is complicated

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say

Quack, quack, like a duck - oh my gosh

That leaves us terribly in danger
That leaves us terribly in danger

That leaves us solidly in danger
That leaves us solidly in danger

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say

He Said I Am A Genius

 

He Said I Am A Genius

This is the next song in the fucked up relationship album; it's about how, well, the boyfriend in question used to call me a genius. Well, in the next couple songs, you'll see the specific circumstance that prompted him to say it at one point.

The lyrics are:

He said I am a genius

He said I am a genius

And he is a genius, too

He is the best man in the world

How can I compare

Anyone to this man?

I do not even dare?

He said I am a genius

He said I am a genius

And he's a genius, as well

2022 Was Such a Strange Year

2022 Was a Strange Year

 This is a song about how 2022 has been a strange year for me.

It's the Night of Very Strange Madness Coming In Through Their

It's the Night of Very Strange Madness Coming Through Their Living Room

 

This is a song about getting spooked after watching a spooky TV show. It came from a dream. 

Yeah, I've been watching Stranger Things a lot...I can tell ya that it is a spooky show, indeed. A spooky show that spooks me.

Chester Christmas Song

 

Chester Christmas Song

 I liked the keyboard part in the previous song, so I thought, hey, let's put that melody in another song and make it a 2-song piece of music thingy. Like, 2 Christmas songs in a row that are connected to each other sorta. It felt like a good idea to make it a tribute to Chester Bennington and Linkin Park and my favorite song in the world, "Shadow of the Day." That song has the same chord progression in it as this one (yeah, I mean, okay. It's a chord progression I probably use too much, but, oh, well).

The lyrics are:

When the day is done
There'll be no more sun
And that makes me think of Chester
"Shadow of the Day" is my very favorite
Linkin Park song and it's better

Than the bestest thing you can imagine
It has love in it
It was sung in a very good fashion
That's why it's a hit

Better than the best
And I must confess
All I want for Christmas is Chester
To be here again
Maybe we'd be friends
And I know my life would be much better

It's the bestest thing you could imagine
As a Christmas gift
Seeing Chester sing in a good fashion
Would give my heart a lift

I like the keyboard melody of the
Last Christmas song, so I had an idea
Let's extend the melody into
A new song - make it one big piece of music
And make it a tribute to Chester
Bennington. Nothing could be much better
Than a tribute to my favorite song
And Linkin Park - hey, let's all sing along

When the day is done

There'll be no more sun

And that makes me think of Chester

I'm Gonna Be Sick For Christmas

I'm Gonna Be Sick For Christmas

 This is a song about how I came down with a cold a few days ago and I still have it. Blast, I'm gonna be sick for Christmas. Blast!

Why Did I Break Up With Him?

 

Why Did I Break Up With Him

This is the next song in the fucked up relationship album; it's the chopped up version of the previous one. It continues with the theme of the main character's regret about breaking up with her ex-boyfriend.

A year ago, I was having fun
My tears now flow - everything's mundane
My new boyfriend is a jerk
I don't think this ever will work
My old boyfriend - I wish he was here cuz we would drink some beer
And, oh my, we might even smoke pot - I'd like to smoke a lot

Why did I do that?
Why did I break up with him?
I've gotten so sad
And my feelings are grim
If I could turn back the clock
That is what I would do
My new boyfriend does not rock
Rather he is a poop-head

When America Fell

When America Fell Shorter

 I think the shorter one is probably better, but you can listen to the longer one, too.

When America Fell

The melody of the verse of this song came from a dream, and the words of the chorus came from another dream. It's about America falling, as in the United States no longer being the United States. 

The lyrics are: 

Do you remember where you were?
Do you remember where you were...

When America fell
When America fell
When America fell
When America fell

It's a flashbulb memory for
Lots of people - it left us floored

When America fell
When America fell
When America fell
When America fell

One day we woke up and the United States
Was a memory and we said, "Hold on, wait"
This doesn't seem like it should be true
I said, "What the fuck?" and "Oh, shit, where's the blue
And red and white flag?" It has just disappeared
And I think we will shed many tears
And I will soon drink whiskey and many beers

When America fell:
We did not see it coming
When America fell:
Will this be a good thing?

When America fell
When America fell
When America fell
When America fell

Here's the shorter version:

Here's the longer version - I'm not sure which one sucks less. Hmm.

Once Upon A Time, I Was All Fucked Up

 

Once Upon A time I Was All Fucked Up

 This is a song about not being fucked up anymore. 

I Traded You For Something Else

 

I Traded You For Something Else

 This is the next song in the fucked up relationship album; it deviates from the frame of this album just a teeny tiny bit because it's a song where you get the main character's discourse that she doesn't want her current (mean) boyfriend to hear, but it's not a chopped up version of a previous song. See, this song came to me in a dream this morning, and I felt like the song was askin' me to record it. So I did. It's about the girl's regrets about leaving her old boyfriend.

The lyrics are:

I traded you for something else, something else
I traded you for something else, something else

This is a song for my ex-boyfriend
I'm in the wrong for making things end
Many nights, I dream about you, and when I wake
I feel ever so gosh darn blue cuz of my mistake

I traded you for something else, something else
I traded you for something else, something else

I should not have done that
And I was so stupid, and I was so stupid
I should not have done that
And I am a poop-head

I'm feeling really sad, and I'm feeling stupid
At myself, I am mad cuz I am a poop-head
Why did I break up with the man who is actually nice?
Now, I am with one I can't stand - he's as cold as ice

To me, and I can see this was a big mistake
Compared to the new guy, you were so great
But I am in denial of my big mistake
My mind keeps telling me that the new guy is great

I traded you for someone else, someone else
I traded you for someone else, someone else

My new boyfriend is not
As nice as you, nice as you
I wish we did not break up
And there's nothing I can do

I traded you for someone new

I traded you for something new

Twenty Four Hours Ago

 

24 Hours Ago

24 Hours Ago - Mix 2

 This is a song about how life can change on a dime. After bad news comes, it can make youre head spin to realize how different your life was the day before the bad news came. I had to sing sotto voce cuz a friend o' mine is working in the next room. But, then again, the quiet nature of the vocal stylings goes with the depresso nature of the song.

poop

Seeing the Sunrise Makes Me Feel So Bad

 

Seeing the Sunrise Makes Me Feel So Bad

 This is the next song in the fucked up relationship album...it's the final song where I riff on the "He's My Universe" song. The night described in this song was so disturbing that the main character gets real bad insomnia - bad to the point where she doesn't sleep at all and ends up watching the sun rise in her still-awake-state.

The lyrics are:

It was a horrifying night I had
Seeing the sunrise made me get so sad

Usually the sunrise is so nice
Today, it's a ball of fire that burns like ice

Usually, the sunrise is so
Beautiful with colors that do glow
But I did not sleep all night and I
Saw the sun rise come through my tired eyes

My boyfriend is scaring me so bad
And after the night that I just had
I wonder if he is who I
Thought he was or is he a bad guy?

I do not want to repeat that night again
It makes me want to retreat from my boyfriend

And he will wake up in time
And I wonder if he is slime
But it's hard to believe it
And I wonder if he is a shit

I'm starting to miss my old boyfriend
Thing were funner until they did end
He did not give me insomnia
And with him, I smoked marijuana

It was a horrifying night I had
Seeing the sunrise makes me feel so bad

I Guess I Am Really All Fucked Up

I Guess I Am Really All Fucked Up

 This is another song about being all fucked up - it came to me in a dream a few days ago. I accidentally plagiarized one of the melodies in the Christmas/holiday song I recorded earlier this week. Crap, crap, crap, poopshit, poop, fart, crap. I guess I'll post it anyway, cuz I like the song well enough, even with the inadvertent plagiarism in it. 

The lyrics are:

I guess I am really all fucked up and I am hating life

Let's get stoned and we will forget all our crappy days
We'll have flown to the baked-cake world in the sunshine's rays

I didn't think I'd write a song like this, this week
But, today, my dream came along and it did speak
What I mean is this song came to me in a dream
Maybe my psyche was just blowing off some steam

I guess I am really all fucked up and I am hating life

Maybe this life is not son bad, but I feel like it is dumb
In a world that makes me get sad, I'll go drink some rum

I guess I am really all fucked up and I am hating life

If you feel like this, you are probably not alone
Shit, I say, "crikey," let's get together and get stoned
Everyone feels like this at some point in their life
The pain of living is as sharp as a big knife

I guess you'd say I am all fucked up and I am hating life

Christmas 2022 Song

Christmas 2022 Song

 Will this year's Christmas song be as good as last year's? Here it is; you can go ahead and be the judge of it, yourself. Yessiree.

The lyrics are:

I don't know if my Christmas song will be as good as last year's one

It'll probably suck an awful lot and not be as much fun

But, Merry Christmas, anyway

I hope that you all have

A really good stupid holiday

And I cannot find a word that rhymes with "have"

That rhymes with "have"

But have a good one, anyway

I Wish I Could Get Stoned Every Single Day

I Wish I Could Get Stoned Every Single Day

 This is a song where I wanted to pretend I was stoned and improvising, even though I'm not actually stoned. That can sometimes hook me into that stoned-ish mindset. It's a song about wanting to get stoned every single day. The lyrics are:

The lyrics are:

I wish I could get stoned every single day

I wish I could get stoned every single day

It would be real nice to get stoned tonight

It would like very much to get stoned tonight - tonight

My day is so regimented

It is boringness-scented

Every once in a while, I have dreams about getting stoned

I Have the Worst Insomnia of My Life

 

I have the worst insomnia of my life

 Here's the next song in the fucked up relationship album. It's another song that piggy backs on the "He's My Universe" song - in this song, you get to continue to find out how fucked up this fucked up relationship is. The picture's an excerpt from a graphic novel I'm working on, that's about this very fucked up relationship.

The lyrics are:

I have the worst insomnia of my life
Cuz the man who said I'd be his wife
Is sleeping like a baby in bed
On the night that all my feelings bled

I feel so bad that I actually want to die
Is what he had to say yesterday just a lie?
When he said "Marry me - you're the love of my life"
And tonight he cut my feelings with a big knife

He said I wasn't worth anything if I did
Not give him a compulsory blow job - oh, shit
I don't got no mouthwash - maybe I'll drink some bleach
Burn out my insides, and I want to scream and screech

Why did he treat me like that? It must be my fault
I'm a misbehaving tike and so he almost called
The relationship off cuz he was so appalled
By whatever I did - I guess it's all my fault

Maybe I'll go out in the snow and not come back
I'll pay for all my sins, and my feelings are black
And I don't know if I can ever face him now
I'm too upset to cry, and he sleeps soundly somehow

I had the worst insomnia of my life

I'm Fucked Up

 

I'm So Fucked Up

This is another song that came to me in a dream. It's about being fucked up.

The lyrics are:

I'm fucked up, I'm so fucked up; I'm so fucked up; I'm so fucked up

How does it feel to be fucked up?

I'm fucked up, I'm so fucked up; I'm so fucked up; I'm so fucked up

I wish I was fucked up in just
Only one way but, well, I must
Say it's Baskin Robbins fifty
One flavors of fucked-up-ness in me
I wish it was just weed, but
This fucked-up-ness exceeds what
Weed does to the common brain and
I'm the Mayor of Fucked Up Land

How does it feel to be so fucked up?

I can say it feels fucked up to be fucked up, and I'm fucked up

My eyes get wet and misty
When I wish it was whiskey
Or pot or beer making me weird
Or mushrooms; it's not those, I fear
It's a mystery to me why
I'm so fucked up...am I dy-
ing? I don't think so but my brain
Feels like it is getting untamed

How does it feel to be fucked up?